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    College Freshman Quad

    Regarding my quad freshman at UA Tucson. I am heading down there again to help with bedrest, broken powerchair, and just emotional support after a tough week. At what point, I wonder, should I cut our losses and insist that she come home to MN and start at a MN school next fall?

    This is becoming very difficult and husband and I are trying to tough it out the rest of the school year. A heart to heart is coming up this weekend I think.....

    #2
    Wow, amazing your daughter is now in college. The years flew by quickly it seems. I don't have any advice but sent you a pm with a contact who was in similar circumstances at ASU.

    As a dad I remember the angst of having my daughter away to school for the first time.Take a deep breath, it'll work out.

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      #3
      Does she get any help from the college disability services department? Can she advocate for herself when snags come up? If so, I wonder if there's a contact person who she (and you) can turn to when issues come up. Freshman year can be difficult for anyone and the adjustment involved is an invaluable experience for a disabled person to handle the next 3 years.
      I'm not a parent, but imagine it must be super tough for you.

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        #4
        Thank you for the replies and letting me lean a bit. Yes, there is help from the DRC and she is a good problem solver. It was just overwhelming this week. Next weekend, we meet up with a cousin who's first assignment out of the Air Force Academy happens to be Tucson. She is looking at apartments next weekend and hopes to house near the U. She and my daughter are a good fit and I hope she can be our go to when things are going south.

        Yes, this has been tougher than I thought and I knew it wasn't going to be an easy year.

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          #5
          That's good news!

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            #6
            Consider buying a used power chair to be kept on perpetual charge at dorm room. I'm not a power chair user but have a used one I paid 500 for. Always good to have a backup since DME svc is so poor.

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              #7
              I am a bit biased, but go Gophers! My family lived in McLean VA and I went to George Washington (about 10 miles from my parents house). However I lived on campus, all the benefits of the college experience with the benefit of if I needed my laundry done I could just throw it in my car and drive home. I would bring her back to MN but let her live on campus.

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                #8
                Am I detecting a tone of 'lets take this problem out of her hands and bring her home as we know what's best'? I'm kinda biased in the other direction, but, again, I'm not a parent so I don't know how I'd feel as a parent. If she likes it there I think I would support her decisions.

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                  #9
                  Originally posted by t8burst View Post
                  I am a bit biased, but go Gophers! My family lived in McLean VA and I went to George Washington (about 10 miles from my parents house). However I lived on campus, all the benefits of the college experience with the benefit of if I needed my laundry done I could just throw it in my car and drive home. I would bring her back to MN but let her live on campus.
                  I would get out of the cold and move to Arizona with her(at least for the winter)! No slight on the Yellow Rodent but Wilbur and Wilma should eat it!

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                    #10
                    The biggest problem, the broken chair, was fixed by a local company in her dorm room late Friday afternoon so that relieved one big problem.

                    We talked about a lot of options Sunday before I left. She brought up a couple scenarios that were new so that was good. I could be a snowbird, she could come back and live on campus in MN etc. I was also able to talk with some other parents that have "been there done that" and that helped confirm that we are not crazy to let her do what she is doing.

                    Friday when I arrived she was in her backup chair, sick, stressed, a PCA backed out etc. I transferred her to bed at 230 and she slept until at least nine. Poor chick.

                    We'll continue to knock out a few more solutions this week and I fly back on Saturday. (Previously scheduled.) It will be good to check in and maybe go out for a good dinner this time!

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                      #11
                      How is Erin doing academically? This would be a big factor for me in helping her make the decision to stay at U of A for her sophomore year or go to school closer to home, where it may be easier to apply more energy to her studies and less on crisis management. Obviously, both are important, long term, to her well being as an adult, but she's got time to figure out life...

                      All the best,
                      GJ

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                        #12
                        Originally posted by nrf View Post
                        I would get out of the cold and move to Arizona with her(at least for the winter)! No slight on the Yellow Rodent but Wilbur and Wilma should eat it!
                        It was 11 degrees when I left for SF this morning. I love MN but I may not come back till april The cold doesn't do my pain levels a lot of good, so I kinda agree but the one time I was in Arizona it was hotter than hell. In all seriousness, I think it is an important thing for any child, disabled or not, not live at home while in college. That being said shit is going to happen and as a parent I would feel a lot better if my kid faced the same challenges as the OP if I was within driving distance.

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                          #13
                          Originally posted by t8burst View Post
                          I love MN but I may not come back till april The cold doesn't do my pain levels a lot of good, so I kinda agree but the one time I was in Arizona it was hotter than hell. In all seriousness, I think it is an important thing for any child, disabled or not, not live at home while in college. That being said shit is going to happen and as a parent I would feel a lot better if my kid faced the same challenges as the OP if I was within driving distance.
                          Tucson is a little higher elevation than Phoenix so it cools down to 105 during the day ha! The hottest summer I've spent was 25 years ago in South Dakota when they had two weeks of 100-plus temps AND smothering high humidity. We live on the Mississippi just north of downtown Minneapolis. I like my water/boating and I never thought I'd like the desert but Tucson really is beautiful.

                          After having a heart to heart on Sunday we are going to try to tough out the year and see where things stand in May. Her grades are good. She will look at housing for next year this weekend and we will continue on the path to return in the fall. We are a long way away but thankful that there are deals on airfare out of Minneapolis to Phoenix and sometimes Tucson. I flew American into Phoenix for $56 last Friday, last minute, nonstop.

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