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End of my rope

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  • End of my rope

    My partner is 26 years old. He suffers extreme ASAD, adult separation anxiety disorder. I've been with him for 3 and a half years and in that time I've been unable to leave my home without him. And sometimes not at all due to his Co issue of agoraphobia. I've not been out to eat or movies with friends, I've missed family reunions, everything I enjoy in life is gone. He's unable to cook for himself, clean for himself and it all falls to me and I'm tired, I'm so tired. I'm stuck. I love him but the Medicad he receives only covers one place and they are woefully inadequate when dealing with this debilitating disorder. He has no family that will or can help him, most of my friends and family have backed away from me because I can't associate with them as much as they nor I would like. I've become severely depressed, despondent and have lost all interest in life. I feel I'm at the end of my rope and feel I can't do this much longer. It's ruining my life and our "relationship" is crumbling due to it. I'm so scared for him, and for me. I don't know what to do.

  • #2
    Set healthy boundaries and enforce them.
    Communicate.
    Ask for what you want.
    OR cut and run.

    But your life will never get better unless you practice the former!
    And, You will find yourself in a situation again that rhymes.
    69yo male T12 complete since 1995
    NW NJ

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    • #3
      I say cut your losses and get out! If he can't or won't help himself then he will never get better. He needs major mental help and if he won't get it then there is nothing you or anyone else can do for him. Are you the one with the SCI or is he? If it's him then it sounds like he may be severely depressed. If that's the case then again he needs major possibly inpatient psych help.
      T6 Incomplete due to a Spinal cord infarction July 2009

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      • #4
        He has gone religiously to his psych appointments. They just aren't doing any good. He can only be seen at one place because that's all his Medicaid covers. They talk to him and talk to him but have no plan and never take any real action like cognitive behavior therapy or exposure therapy. They just talk to him, and that's all they've done for years. It's discouraging. He wants help and he keeps going but they are not equipped to deal with this. Or they are incompetent.

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        • #5
          Also, I may have been directed here mistakenly by a friend. Is this only for SCI?

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          • #6
            If so, I'm so sorry.

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            • #7
              These forums are for people with spinal cord injury and those who care about them. We often address similar disabilities such as stroke, TBI, MS, ALS, etc. but the primary purpose is for those with spinal cord injuries or diseases.

              (KLD)
              The SCI-Nurses are advanced practice nurses specializing in SCI/D care. They are available to answer questions, provide education, and make suggestions which you should always discuss with your physician/primary health care provider before implementing. Medical diagnosis is not provided, nor do the SCI-Nurses provide nursing or medical care through their responses on the CareCure forums.

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              • #8
                Well at least it sounds like he is not SCI, count your blessings.
                "Life is about how you
                respond to not only the
                challenges you're dealt but
                the challenges you seek...If
                you have no goals, no
                mountains to climb, your
                soul dies".~Liz Fordred

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                • #9
                  Rusty, I suggest you seek out support from those who are dealing with your specific issues. This group is a good start- A community of patients, family members and friends dedicated to dealing with Adult Separation Anxiety Disorder, together. http://www.mdjunction.com/adult-sepa...xiety-disorder

                  They will better understand what you are dealing with.

                  Best wishes.

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                  • #10
                    I have AWSAD or Adult Wheelchair Separation Anxiety Disorder. I call my wheelchair Fred and it's been 5 years and I can't leave the home without Fred. In fact without Fred I can't leave my bed, or even go to the bathroom.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by t8burst View Post
                      I have AWSAD or Adult Wheelchair Separation Anxiety Disorder. I call my wheelchair Fred and it's been 5 years and I can't leave the home without Fred. In fact without Fred I can't leave my bed, or even go to the bathroom.

                      hahah.. thank you for this

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                      • #12
                        I don't think we need to be making fun of this person's seeking help and looking for resources. We all have our disabilities...let's be a little more respectful of those seeking our help.

                        (KLD)
                        The SCI-Nurses are advanced practice nurses specializing in SCI/D care. They are available to answer questions, provide education, and make suggestions which you should always discuss with your physician/primary health care provider before implementing. Medical diagnosis is not provided, nor do the SCI-Nurses provide nursing or medical care through their responses on the CareCure forums.

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