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Aid problems

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    Aid problems

    So I'v been very frustrated with one of my aid's today.
    Usually all my care is done and I'm up in the chair by the time their shift starts. Today my wife/we slept in a bit and I wasn't yet dressed and up at the start of my aid's shift. Her body language made it quite clear she wasn't happy about that. She also wasn't happy about me wanting to spend time outside later during the day. I got an eye roll and 'the face' for that request.
    I don't expect very much of my aid's I think. Mostly companionship, feeding me, repositioning me, etc, all the 'little' things I can't do, some light housework to help out my wife. The majority of my care is done by my wife and only on rare occasions will they have to do parts of it. And neither of my other aid's have ever made me feel that those rare occasions are a problem for them.
    This one though I've had issues with. So today wasn't really an isolated incident. Though the most frustrating one. She frequently 'forgets' to bring her own food. She frequently is tired and I will catch her nodding off. If she can find a way to make short cuts, she will. Little things, but they've been adding up and bothering me in the 4months she's been working for me.
    I'm quite forgiving and give a lot of second chances. I've had talks about this with her, after her behaviour changes for a few shifts but it doesn't last.
    I think today was the last straw. I don't appreciate feeling like I am a bother. Am I right in feeling it is time to let her go? I never had to fire somebody before so I'm not sure how to proceed. Any input is appreciated.
    Last edited by Taanshi79; 8 Oct 2014, 12:46 AM.
    There's always something magic, there's always something true. And when you really, really need it the most, that's when rock 'n roll dreams come true. Meat Loaf

    I agree this is not acceptable. Someone working for you that makes you feel uncomfortable and has an attitude like this should be let go. It sounds like you have already talked with her multiple times and she hasn't listened. She is not going to change. You are so nice that you are doing exactly what she wants you to do.... demand less and less of her.

    It actually makes me angry. Her "work" is extremely light.... How dare she show an attitude just because you weren't dressed yet? How dare she roll her eyes when you want to go outside?!?!?

    You can simply say that her trial work period is up and that you have decide that you and this aid are not a good fit.

    This is why I hate having to hire/train aids too.

    But one thing.... We feed the person who comes to help my father, if she is there during a meal time. And boy did she like to abuse that.... but it's food. Like you, we choose our battles.



      Aides = people who help you.

      Do you have an employment contract and job description that you had the aide sign when you hired them? Hopefully you spelled out the duties of the job, your requirements for behavior, and your conditions for termination. Our contracts for my mother's aides all had this, and it was quite useful when we had to let someone go. Don't take that type of behavior from your employee, esp. when you have already counseled them on this. Give her notice if you must, but replace her.

      The SCI-Nurses are advanced practice nurses specializing in SCI/D care. They are available to answer questions, provide education, and make suggestions which you should always discuss with your physician/primary health care provider before implementing. Medical diagnosis is not provided, nor do the SCI-Nurses provide nursing or medical care through their responses on the CareCure forums.


        Replacing aides is not fun when there are consistent problems. I just replaced one who began showing up late or not at all. She would shape up for a couple of weeks and then slip back into the old pattern. Sadly, she was a nursing student. I do have a contract that spells out the duties and other conditions. I am not entirely comfortable with her replacement. She is still learning the ropes but seems to resent instruction and direction. She seems to think that she knows everything. She is not a good fit at this point. If she does not change her attitude by the end of the month I will start looking again. My other two part timers are like family and look for things to do during their wait times. There are some great people out there but finding them seems like looking for a needle in a haystack. I am straight forward when I terminate aides, giving them the specifics of the problem.
        You will find a guide to preserving shoulder function @

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          Thank you for the input.
          Yesterday I was wondering if I was overeacting, but now I don't think I am. Even though today was better with her I don't think I want to put up with a reoccurence of yesterday in the future.
          So I made the decision to let her go on Friday at the end of her shift. If I could I would give her notice sooner. But I have no replacment for her for the rest of the week. And I'm worried she either won't show up for her shifts or would have a terrible attitude if she did. After Friday I have two weeks covered by my other aids. If I don't have replacment by then hopefully I can arrange something.
          I do have a employment contract that has all the details in it, duties, reason for termination, etc. I'm covered on that end I believe.
          This third aid position seems to be cursed. My other two have been with me pretty much since I got out of rehab. They are wonderful. I'm very lucky to have them. But the third one, they all either get pregnant or move or find a 'better' job or some other reason to leave. It is frustrating having to go through the hiring/training process all the time. And finding somebody good well I've obviously had no luck.
          There's always something magic, there's always something true. And when you really, really need it the most, that's when rock 'n roll dreams come true. Meat Loaf


            That sounds like a good plan.

            Hang in there.


              So, had the 'you're fired' talk with her today.
              I was nervous about it all day. And I'm sure she knew something was up after telling her we need to talk after her shift. Then avoiding conversations with her all day.
              Anyway I guess the talk could have gone worse. She only cried but left without much fuss.
              Now I have the 'joys' of searching/interviewing/hiring/training ahead of ne again
              There's always something magic, there's always something true. And when you really, really need it the most, that's when rock 'n roll dreams come true. Meat Loaf