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need input on how to be supportive without smothering

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    need input on how to be supportive without smothering

    My partner has the heart of a lion. Suffered a vicious beating in 05 that involved TBI, leaving him with legs that give out unexpectedly, a left hand and arm that lock up at anytime without warning, and horrific whole body neuropathy attacks that leave him red faced and sobbing. I could cope with most of it because I have the same issues from time to time, but the first neuropathy left me devastated and totally helpless. Yet he gets up every morning with a smile on his face ready to face the world with me at his side.

    It's a hard balance of how to make sure he does not over do things too much and bird dogging him.

    How do you caregivers do it?



    I don't know how to answer your question really cavemuscle. I'm committed "for better or worse in sickness or in health" and that's all there is to that ..... there was never any other option for me. Bill and I have been together for 33+ years ! I'm ying to his yang and he's stuck with me ! I think I fell in love with him all over again after he was hurt !

    ~ Be the change you wish to see in the world ~ Mahatma Gandi

    " calling all Angels ...... calling all Angels ....walk me through this one .. don't leave me alone .... calling all Angels .... calling all Angels .... we're tryin' and we're hopin' cause we're not sure how ....... this .... goes ..."
    Jane Siberry


      Hi Cavemuscle, I wish I had an answer for you. We definetly have good days and bad days at our house. Sometimes we take turns.
      It breaks my heart to see my sweetie in pain. He has a good attitude too, but shuts down at times.


        Hey Cavemuscle, I just read your post. OK how do we do it? Day by day and sometimes when it's bad, minute by minute. I guess I do it and most of the time I don't think of it. My hubby also has the most amazing attitude ever. If it was me I'd be such a miserable witch even a saint couldn't live with me. With hubby it's not an issue of making sure he doesn't do too much because he can't do much of anything. You have been at this for some time now, since 05 so probably have most things down to a fine art. Just be grateful that he does have a good attitude towards his problems. Life isn't always fair but it sounds as if you and your partner have a great thing going which is about 99% of the battle. Hang in there, you are not alone.
        I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.
        - Jackie Mason -