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  • Sol

    We are in the middle of a blizzard. I'm not sure when an aide will be able to get here. Tomorrow morning is program and shower day.
    The one that was coming tonight has 4WD, but has to stay at the hospital she works at for mandatory emergency lock in.
    She was going to fill in for the one from out of town as we knew the storm coming.
    Nights are not too hard, just a lot to do with trach,SP etc. The ceiling lift helps.
    Usually when they are getting him in bed I take some time for myself.
    My sister, son, niece, mother and daughter were going to be here tomorrow night and Sat for some food and Scrabble.
    They would have helped me then and we were looking forward to spending New Years Eve with them.
    Like we used to every year. Dave would always cook steaks outside no matter how cold it was.
    The way things are looking no one will be down our unplowed dead end street.
    He choked on a peice of rice at supper. I'm going to wake up one morning with all white hair!
    I am absolutely overwhelmed. If I were stronger and he were not as large it would be easier, but we are who we are.
    It f#cking sucks that my dear has to be injured so severely. He did not even have a voice today and was dreadfully quiet.
    At least the bird talks to me, but all he does is say how pretty he is!

    That's it for my pity party gang.

  • #2
    (((hugs)))

    I wish there was something I could say to make it better.....
    T12-L2; Burst fracture L1: Incomplete walking with AFO's and cane since 1989

    My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am. ~Author Unknown

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    • #3
      I'm so sorry Linda. There are no words, except maybe "this too shall pass".

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Scaper1 View Post
        I'm so sorry Linda. There are no words, except maybe "this too shall pass".
        Thanks sweetie. It will.
        Everything just seems magnified right now.
        The holidays, wishing I could do it all, thinking we are doing so well and something like this happens.
        It helps to vent to people that understand.
        It isn't a caregiver thing, it's an SCI thing.
        I don't want anyone who has a caregiver to think I am complaining.

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        • #5
          We would never think of you as a complainer Linda. Surrounding you with a big bear hug and a slap on the back for your hubby. May you both stay warm and healthy

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          • #6
            Linda, I'm often in the same situation with my mom, who is my primary caregiver when things go wrong, as they so often do when you need 24/7 care. It kills me the toll my injury takes on her, and I would never begrudge her the feelings of despair and exhaustion and hopelessness that my sci has caused. Some days are just pure evil, but we get through. You will too. Because you're awesome. Trust me, I'm a highly qualified judge of these things.

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            • #7
              Ughh ...... I'm sorry Linda . Living with our weather is tough enough when everyone is able bodied let alone your situation !

              Now don't laugh - but when I am overwhelmed and faced with what seems impossible - I start summoning angels - I literally talk out loud asking them to help me out a little - I say a prayer and I ask for help - it makes me feel less alone and I truly believe they hear me because when I look back at some of the terrible things I've had to face - somehow someway I've got through it. It may be a little messy - but I get through it! Shoot ... what have we got to loose and who even cares what anyone thinks anyway. We have to do what we need to do to survive - plain and simple.

              I listen to alot of talk radio at night - eases the loneliness a little and sometimes I just surf the net all night long - and I find things like this - I hope it brings you a little smile - I'll pray your angels show up to help ease your load and the storm passes very soon ! {{{{hug}}}}





              Obie
              Last edited by Obieone; 12-31-2010, 06:01 AM.
              ~ Be the change you wish to see in the world ~ Mahatma Gandi


              " calling all Angels ...... calling all Angels ....walk me through this one .. don't leave me alone .... calling all Angels .... calling all Angels .... we're tryin' and we're hopin' cause we're not sure how ....... this .... goes ..."
              Jane Siberry

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              • #8
                Oh Linda...I too am sending hugs your way.

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                • #9
                  I hope you take these attempts to take your mind off your troubles in the way it is intended - cause I found another one that was too cute to pass up !

                  When we get storm stayed like you folks are I tend to act a little like this fellow in the vid ....... {{{another hug}}}}




                  Obie
                  ~ Be the change you wish to see in the world ~ Mahatma Gandi


                  " calling all Angels ...... calling all Angels ....walk me through this one .. don't leave me alone .... calling all Angels .... calling all Angels .... we're tryin' and we're hopin' cause we're not sure how ....... this .... goes ..."
                  Jane Siberry

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                  • #10
                    Linda,
                    Hugs to you, my friend. I can't even imagine the stress you endure on good days, let alone when a blizzard wallops the entire region.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by LindaT View Post
                      ..............
                      It isn't a caregiver thing, it's an SCI thing.
                      I don't want anyone who has a caregiver to think I am complaining.

                      .............. and what would be wrong with that may I ask ????? Don't ever feel like you have to qualify your words Linda - you are entitled to complain now and then all you need. If you didn't you'd explode - and then where would Dave be !

                      Choking on a grain of rice - damn damn it all to hell !! Bill called me home from work once a while back because he choked on a vitamin pill that got caught at the back of his throat ! It was a very scary experience - I'm sorry you had to go through that !!

                      Obie
                      ~ Be the change you wish to see in the world ~ Mahatma Gandi


                      " calling all Angels ...... calling all Angels ....walk me through this one .. don't leave me alone .... calling all Angels .... calling all Angels .... we're tryin' and we're hopin' cause we're not sure how ....... this .... goes ..."
                      Jane Siberry

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                      • #12
                        Oh, Hon! Feel free to speak up!

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                        • #13
                          Survived the very dark night of the soul. Finally got to sleep.
                          As it goes my dear awoke with dreaded pain, breathing stuff, burning eyes, too hot etc and I was groggily stumbling about.
                          Early this morning I miraculously heard the city plow and then the bobcat doing our driveway. Our little Twinhome group have a snow service for driveway. Usually this dead end is the last to be plowed. Can't get the front door open, but can get in through garage.
                          My 75 year old mother offered to take Dave's truck out of her garage and go pick up aide. I told her to stay home!
                          The citys did not pull the plows last night because round 2 on the way this afternoon and they want to be ready.
                          For that reason aide was able to get here. I could hear her husband griping in the background he had to snowblow their driveway. (Ass)
                          Doubt there will be any festivities here, but I feel better today.

                          I think of before Dave's SCI. He would be out in his bibs and bomber hat snowblowing the neighbors out, taking the blower in the truck and doing my Mom's and anyone else in need.
                          Then we would go to the Legion and have a beer.
                          Thanks for listening. Love the utubes Obie.

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                          • #14
                            Wish I could turn back time to get Dave back out there in the snow.

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                            • #15
                              Glad to know things are feeling a tad better. There is always a relief for me too when I know I can get out if I absolutely had to. Glad the aide was able to get to you.

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