No announcement yet.

End of life care for elderly question

  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • End of life care for elderly question

    I need some recommendations for end of life care for the elderly

    My grandmother-in-law is over 90 and made it clear that she wants to die in her own home. She has problems with her short term memory, has fallen several times and not been able to get up.

    She lives in the country. We found one caregiver that was able to be there for 8 hours per day, 5 days per week, but couldn't find anyone to care for her for another shift on weekdays. On weekends, my wife drove out there (about an hour away), took her to church, lunch, salon, etc.

    Grandma broke her arm falling out of bed. Her doctor said she needed full coverage care, and my in-laws were afraid of getting sued by (whatever relevant government agency).

    She is about 20 minutes outside of Oregon City, Oregon in the Portland Metro area.

    We've worked with her church, looked around the area, and couldn't find a set of bonded caregivers to take care of her on a day to day basis. (Cook, make sure she hasn't fallen, laundry)

    She ended up in a passable "foster home for elderly", but she doesn't want to be there, and we don't want her to be there.

    Where can we go for help? She doesn't have a terminal disease, so I don't think hospice is appropriate. She is just old and frail and can't take care of herself.

    Thanks in advance for any advice that is offered...

    -- JB

  • #2
    Hi, Justin
    We're working on a not dissimilar situation with my Dad. He had a bad stroke while in hospital for minor surgery, doc expected him to live several weeks. He wanted to go die at home, so we got him there; an old friend stayed with him to care for him (she and her husband had been best friends with my folks for some 40 years; her husband and my Mom died several years earlier). That was 3 years ago. Now he's 99; has fallen several times - friend calls 911 to come and get him back in bed. She's now getting where she can't manage either, so we're getting someone to come in for several hours a day - cook, clean, clean up Dad, etc. We found this woman through a friend; she had been a full-time caretaker for someone who died a few months ago. You've done well to find someone for 8 hrs/5 days.
    You might try calling one of the offices at this link, see if they have a list of caregivers. We have dealt with Visiting Angels also here for temporary help with my wife, and were very happy with them; I would definitely try them if we needed long term help for her or my Dad. (I notice that the Newberg office mentions Oregon City)
    - Richard

    p.s. Although it may not be relevant to your case, when we needed someone for my wife's temporary care, as soon as I mentioned dig stim for bowel program, other places such as Always At Home Care said "oh, we don't do that." Visiting Angels said "no problem."
    Last edited by rfbdorf; 12-23-2010, 02:03 AM. Reason: added p.s.


    • #3
      You might check here. They may be able to give you some alternatives.
      You will find a guide to preserving shoulder function @

      See my personal webpage @


      • #4
        Visiting nurses for any medical issues. Meals on wheels for one hot meal a day, and equally important is that having them come once a day means someone is checking in with her daily. Life alert for medical emergencies. It can either be a pendant or watch that has a button to push if she was to fall and then emergency numbers are called to respond without her having to do anything more than push the button.


        • #5
          If you stick to only bonded caregivers, that will probably continue to be problem, unless a family member can move in with her for a while. You may need to look for someone who is not from an agency nor who qualifies for bonding. I use Craig's List to find caregivers for my mother, and once chosen, I have a friend who is a PI do a background check for me. We have good methods for protecting my mother's bank accounts and credit cards from use by caregivers as well. You may want to spend some time reading about methods people use to recruit PCAs on this is not really any different for someone like this.

          If she is actually terminally ill (less than 6 months to live) then hospice services may be appropriate, but you MUST have someone else living in the home to qualify for this home care service.

          The SCI-Nurses are advanced practice nurses specializing in SCI/D care. They are available to answer questions, provide education, and make suggestions which you should always discuss with your physician/primary health care provider before implementing. Medical diagnosis is not provided, nor do the SCI-Nurses provide nursing or medical care through their responses on the CareCure forums.


          • #6
            We have had an experience with the Hospice organizations. During the last months of a dear ones life, we found Hospice was willing to travel to rural areas in Arizona. They are excellent in helping you focus upon what the needs of your dying family member are and what resources are available in addition to daily visits by their staff, and volunteers. Hospice works with the whole picture and dynamics of the family. We had a wonderful experience with them. Try contacting Hospice through your hospital or physician.

            All the best,