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What can be done?

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  • What can be done?

    What can be done if a home caregiver (family member) mentally abuses someone with threats of abandonment and withholding care, does not respect the person's privacy and dignity, does not respect the persons needs and preferences, humiliates, insults, frightens, and treats the person like a child, and is limiting this person's efforts to regain independence?

  • #2
    Very sad if this is the case.
    I suppose it would matter how old the person was, if they were on a program where an agency checked on them or if there were other family members to talk to about it.
    Sorry I can't answer your question.

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    • #3
      Contact the police right away. This alleged abuser needs to be removed from the situation .. even if that means they lose a home.
      Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

      T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

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      • #4
        Originally posted by LindaT View Post
        . . . I suppose it would matter how old the person was . . .
        The person is in their 40s and believes the person doing the abuse is the only person who can help them.
        Last edited by Darryl; 10-21-2010, 12:59 PM. Reason: Privacy

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        • #5
          http://www.deeplyproblematic.com/201...abuse-and.html

          Wendy Garland, a New Jersey woman with disabilities, died last week after her primary caregivers, her mother and sister, abused and neglected her. Helene Hutchinson and Florence Garland have been charged "with neglect of an elderly or disabled person." Garland, who had cerebral palsy and Down syndrome, had not received medical attention in over two years. She lived and died in a dilapidated, overheated room filled with roaches, trash and feces.

          Her family waited more than two hours after discovery of her body to call 911. In an attempt to mask their abuse, her mother, sister, brother-in-law, and nephew moved furniture and carried her from the 100-degree room she died in to the front door of the air-conditioned first floor. The house was a grim scene ...
          Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

          T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

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          • #6
            Originally posted by lynnifer View Post
            http://www.deeplyproblematic.com/201...abuse-and.html

            Wendy Garland, a New Jersey woman . . .
            Thank you for this story.

            Comment


            • #7
              The situation and person involved should be reported to Adult Protective Services. In most states, people with disabilities are in a special class (along with children and the elderly) who are served by this county or state agency. Neglect, physical abuse, financial abuse, or emotional abuse all fall into this category. Family members are not immune from these protections, nor are family caregivers.

              Health care professionals who are aware of the situation would be legally REQUIRED to report, and any other interested party (family, friends, neighbors, etc.) are allowed to report.

              Here is an excellent book detailing many peoples' stories of their experiences with abuse and neglect:

              Sticks and Stones: Disabled People’s Stories of Abuse, Defiance and Resilience

              (KLD)
              Last edited by SCI-Nurse; 10-21-2010, 01:07 PM.
              The SCI-Nurses are advanced practice nurses specializing in SCI/D care. They are available to answer questions, provide education, and make suggestions which you should always discuss with your physician/primary health care provider before implementing. Medical diagnosis is not provided, nor do the SCI-Nurses provide nursing or medical care through their responses on the CareCure forums.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by SCI-Nurse View Post
                The situation and person involved should be reported to Adult Protective Services . . .
                (KLD)
                Thank you for this empowering information.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Sci-nurse answered everything I was going to say and then some. Report it now...do not wait.

                  I am not sure if you are just a friend or what but if so you are an amazing friend, thank you for looking out for this person and I hope everything turns out ok. As a Caregiver in my forties, I must say it is at times hard work, but I would never ever ever even think of treating my husband this way. Good luck and if at all possible please keep us updated. I would love to hear a happy ending to this story.

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                  • #10
                    I spoke with this person today and was asked to wait before I do anything.

                    I said I would wait and explained I am waiting because I don't know of anyone doing anything you want. The person agreed and said the situation is pathetic.

                    I cannot begin to imagine how frustrating it must be to be so dependent on others.

                    Also, coverage for nursing in this area is not good. The family member was told this person needs someone there 24 hours a day. Is this accurate when someone first comes home? This person told me today how they just want some alone time. How long will this person have to wait before getting alone time?

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                    • #11
                      I am confused, you spoke with the person needing the care? and he said to wait? and you said you would because you don't know of anyone doing anything the person needing the care wants? And the person who needs the care agreed and said the situation is pathetic?

                      When did the person come home? Is the person para, quad, what level? Etc. Did the person go to rehab and able to do anything on his own? Is the family caregiver just being over protective since its a new injury?

                      Sorry to ask so many questions but I am really confused, if the caregiver is as bad as your first post, why wait? Something needs to be done and done today.

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by MSWIFE1 View Post
                        I am confused, you spoke with the person needing the care? and he said to wait? and you said you would because you don't know of anyone doing anything the person needing the care wants? And the person who needs the care agreed and said the situation is pathetic?

                        When did the person come home? Is the person para, quad, what level? Etc. Did the person go to rehab and able to do anything on his own? Is the family caregiver just being over protective since its a new injury?

                        Sorry to ask so many questions but I am really confused, if the caregiver is as bad as your first post, why wait? Something needs to be done and done today.
                        The person's been home just over a week, has a cervical complete injury and cannot do very much on their own. They were at a rehabilitation facility for over four and a half months.

                        I know from this person, and a few others, that nursing coverage is not good in this area. Nurses are assigned and sometimes they show up, sometimes late and sometimes not at all. At this point the reasoning is bad care is better than no care. It's not just the care it's the running of the household too. It is complicated.

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                        • #13
                          Thanks for clearing that up, I know you are trying to talk in circles and not give to many details for privacy reasons but I was just not understanding.
                          Its just not your area that you have problems with nursing staff, its everywhere sadly. How would this person be funding the nursing staff, is insurance going to help some, is this person a vet? Can you get ahold of the rehab facility and see if they have any recommendations?
                          I know it must be complicated but I still don't think you should wait, not if it is as bad as your first post.
                          Where are you at and maybe someone here can help with resources.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by MSWIFE1 View Post
                            Thanks for clearing that up, I know you are trying to talk in circles and not give to many details for privacy reasons but I was just not understanding.
                            Its just not your area that you have problems with nursing staff, its everywhere sadly. How would this person be funding the nursing staff, is insurance going to help some, is this person a vet? Can you get ahold of the rehab facility and see if they have any recommendations?
                            I know it must be complicated but I still don't think you should wait, not if it is as bad as your first post.
                            Where are you at and maybe someone here can help with resources.
                            Privacy is a concern.
                            Nursing is paid for through insurance.
                            The person is not a veteran.
                            Taking things on a day to day basis and waiting for this person to give the go ahead.
                            I know someone in the area who is in law enforcement and have known him over 30 years.

                            Thank you for your help!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Nursing/aides are a big issue for many of us. Even if funding is there finding reliable people can be near impossible at times. (as I sit waiting for my husband's week-end aide that was supposed to be here an hour ago)
                              Was there a social worker or case manager at the rehab that could be of any help?
                              I am glad you are trying to help, it must be frustrating for you.
                              I understand why you are reluctant to give details. No one is meaning to pry, it just helps to know more about the situation.

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