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  • #16
    Originally posted by LindaT View Post
    Nursing/aides are a big issue for many of us. Even if funding is there finding reliable people can be near impossible at times. (as I sit waiting for my husband's week-end aide that was supposed to be here an hour ago)
    Was there a social worker or case manager at the rehab that could be of any help?
    I am glad you are trying to help, it must be frustrating for you.
    I understand why you are reluctant to give details. No one is meaning to pry, it just helps to know more about the situation.
    Thank you, Linda. It truly helps to read the experiences of others and I understand no one means to pry. I relay this information to my friend who sincerely appreciates it as well.

    As it turns out, punctuality/attendance is an issue in the home care field. Is this just a "roll with the punches" situation? There is a new social worker / case manager involved.

    I put my frustration aside because it is nothing compared to that of my friend's. I think about that often and we talk about it.
    At different times my friend has asked me to be their legs, etc. and I am.
    At different times my friend has asked me to do things for them, bring things to them, and I do.
    They say they would do the same for me and I believe them. I know they would.

    Comment


    • #17
      Unless she is on a vent, there is no reason she needs someone with her 24/7. I assume she has a phone she can use.

      If you are not willing to file the APS report NOW before the situationn deteriorates even further, at least call the social worker and report this to them. They will be legally obligated to report it and follow through. Tell (don't ask) your friend that you are doing this because you care about her and that not taking action is NOT an option.

      Even if it means your friend may have to go back to rehab, or even temporarily to a nursing home, this is better than being in a potentially dangerous situation like this.

      (KLD)
      The SCI-Nurses are advanced practice nurses specializing in SCI/D care. They are available to answer questions, provide education, and make suggestions which you should always discuss with your physician/primary health care provider before implementing. Medical diagnosis is not provided, nor do the SCI-Nurses provide nursing or medical care through their responses on the CareCure forums.

      Comment


      • #18
        Originally posted by SCI-Nurse View Post
        Unless she is on a vent, there is no reason she needs someone with her 24/7. I assume she has a phone she can use.

        If you are not willing to file the APS report NOW before the situationn deteriorates even further, at least call the social worker and report this to them. They will be legally obligated to report it and follow through. Tell (don't ask) your friend that you are doing this because you care about her and that not taking action is NOT an option.

        Even if it means your friend may have to go back to rehab, or even temporarily to a nursing home, this is better than being in a potentially dangerous situation like this.

        (KLD)
        I understand.
        Thank you.

        Comment


        • #19
          Originally posted by SCI-Nurse View Post
          Unless she is on a vent, there is no reason she needs someone with her 24/7.

          (KLD)
          So a "high tech baby monitor" (their words, not mine) in the room is unnecessary?

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          • #20
            Originally posted by Darryl View Post
            So a "high tech baby monitor" (their words, not mine) in the room is unnecessary?
            Given the situation you describe, I see no reason that should be required, esp. if it allows her no privacy. I assume that it is on "listen mode" all the time? This means that she cannot even have a private phone conversation without someone else listening in, and for what purpose? This is another behavior that smacks of the abuser who isolates the person and convinces them that they cannot exist without the abuser's constant presence and "support" and is constantly monitoring their activities/contacts.

            On the other hand, a wireless door bell or phone she can use independently to get help WHEN SHE WANTS IT only, would be appropriate and a good idea.

            (KLD)
            The SCI-Nurses are advanced practice nurses specializing in SCI/D care. They are available to answer questions, provide education, and make suggestions which you should always discuss with your physician/primary health care provider before implementing. Medical diagnosis is not provided, nor do the SCI-Nurses provide nursing or medical care through their responses on the CareCure forums.

            Comment


            • #21
              Originally posted by SCI-Nurse View Post
              Given the situation you describe, I see no reason that should be required, esp. if it allows her no privacy. I assume that it is on "listen mode" all the time? This means that she cannot even have a private phone conversation without someone else listening in, and for what purpose? This is another behavior that smacks of the abuser who isolates the person and convinces them that they cannot exist without the abuser's constant presence and "support" and is constantly monitoring their activities/contacts.

              (KLD)
              Again, your assessment of the situation is very accurate. Thank you.

              Originally posted by SCI-Nurse View Post
              On the other hand, a wireless door bell or phone she can use independently to get help WHEN SHE WANTS IT only, would be appropriate and a good idea.
              A wireless door bell is an excellent solution. Thank you.

              I bought a wireless headset which was used at the rehabilitation center.
              It is "plug and play", meaning very simple to set up and use.
              Unfortunately, it has not been set up at home yet.

              Again, thank you.

              Comment


              • #22
                From a PM from Darryl to the SCI-Nurses:
                Originally posted by Darryl
                I sincerely appreciate your help and I've been up all night researching this. The more I research the sicker I feel. I am very disappointed by what I have found on the Attorney General's website for Ontario, Canada.

                "Psychological, emotional and financial abuse should also not be tolerated, although they are not considered to be crimes."

                Ministry of the Attorney General of Ontario
                http://www.attorneygeneral.jus.gov.on.ca/english/family/violence.asp

                I need the name of the case manager and report this to her -- right? Can you think of anyone else I should report this to?

                She doesn't have access to a telephone unless she asks for it. This woman has a very large and beautiful home and her mother has just taken over. I hate seeing her being robbed of so much.

                Thank you for helping us.

                Darryl
                Unfortunately I do not know much about the laws in Canada. It is unfortunate that it appears that non-physical abuse is NOT a crime there as it is in the USA.

                I would hope that organizations such as the Canadian Paraplegic Association would take the initiative to get such provincial or federal legislation passed. I would recommend contacting them to find out about resources and possible avenues to get some action taken in this situation, in addition to talking to the case manager/social worker at the rehab center which arranged this discharge plan.

                http://www.canparaplegic.org/en/

                (KLD)
                The SCI-Nurses are advanced practice nurses specializing in SCI/D care. They are available to answer questions, provide education, and make suggestions which you should always discuss with your physician/primary health care provider before implementing. Medical diagnosis is not provided, nor do the SCI-Nurses provide nursing or medical care through their responses on the CareCure forums.

                Comment


                • #23
                  Oh Daryl...I hope you get this solved quickly for your friends sake. Thank you for being such a wonderful friend.

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