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Just thought I should say something

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    Just thought I should say something

    I posted a very "hot topic" a long while ago. Then I disappeared. I just thought I should give a follow up for the people who were so caring and offered advice.

    I was debating on leaving my husband at the time. He is a C5/6 Complete Quad. It was very complicated as anyone can assume.

    We are still together and stronger than before. I am not going anywhere and this I know for sure.

    So... after a lot of "soul searching" I have came up with the following conclusion.

    GUILT! That is what made me want to leave. The mear fact that I would even think about leaving him at the worst possible time in his life made me think I was not cut out for this. The truth is... I needed him to tell me it was OK and that he understood. So... I let it out. I told him is was over. It was awful. But after days of anger and tears he finally came to me and said "I will be fine without you." He had his life all planned out. It was awesome!!!! I finally saw the man in him again. He didn't depend on me at all. He was pissed off and I was so happy lol.

    So... that is summing it up a lot but I think you can get the point. I needed him to feel independant. When your in the relationship when the injury ocurrs you don't get to meet the man who is confident with his injury. I met men who were injured for years and they seemed so much more attractive to me at the time.

    For those who are feeling confused I say it's OK. Guilt is such a useless emotion. Try not to let it cloud your judgement. Find out what causes the guilt... face it... and move on if you can.

    Thank you to everyone who posted to me... even the negative posts. I came to this form for advice and I sure did get it (c:

    #2
    I went back and read your post from Aug. 2009. It sounded like a hopeless situation a little over a year ago. Thanks for the update, it sounds like things worked out.

    I kinda read the original thread. I see you caught the most grief from MarkPals. It might interest you to know that MarkPals turned out to be an imposter and not just on this MsgBoard, but on others.

    I hope you two got a good settlement, that probably made it easier for your family to get reoganized and back on track.

    Good luck on your quest.

    ßoß

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      #3
      So very glad things have turned out so good. Its always nice to hear a happy ending. Also glad you found your way back to Carecure.

      Comment


        #4
        Glad your back!!

        I'm glad to hear that you and your husband have over come this tremendous hurdle in your relationship and it's serving to make your relationship stronger. No one is able to say what they will or will not do in any given situation, until they walk that walk. All my best wishes to you and your family.

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          #5
          You've been to the brink and back and I'm glad things have worked out so well for you and your husband. It sounds like both of you found what you need in each other and yourselves, individually. That takes a lot of hard work and sometime you never get there. I'm glad the two of you did

          All the best,
          NL

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            #6
            I remember reading your thread when looking at old caregiving threads when I first joined.
            It is good to hear things are going better.
            I looked back at it and thought how much better you handled the criticism than I could/would have.
            I only feel angry about Markspal being a fake identity and being cruel to someone in such a vulnerable time of their life.

            Comment


              #7
              Originally posted by Patty41 View Post
              I'm glad to hear that you and your husband have over come this tremendous hurdle in your relationship and it's serving to make your relationship stronger. No one is able to say what they will or will not do in any given situation, until they walk that walk. All my best wishes to you and your family.

              No pun intended lol

              Comment


                #8
                Originally posted by socks View Post
                No pun intended lol
                lol..exactly. Didn't catch that when I wrote it. Good thing we can laugh at ourselves.

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