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    #16
    personally, it seems u have known that ur hubby is not the romantic type for 30+yrs, so why be upset about it? i agree with the others that you need to tell him what it is that you want (but from your original post, it doesn't seem very clear that you have a good idea of what you want). i never understood why so many woman put such big emphasis on things as a sign of how someone feels for them. or as betheny called it "martrydom". you didnt say how the trip went. did you laugh? cuddle? sexy time?? enjoy each others' company?

    for ur bday i say u hire someone, if u can, for the weekend, go out for an all out spa treatment. tell him how grateful you are that he thought you needed some pampering.
    "Smells like death in a bucket of chicken!"
    http://www.elportavoz.com/

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      #17
      Thanks everyone! It really did help to hear your thoughts. For the most part, our circle of friends are AB and don't know the details of the caregiving support I provide. I prefer it that way but as Kate pointed out, the imbalance that this creates leaves me craving occasional recognition for the long list of small sacrifices that I make. After 30 years, I do know the man and it's foolish to expect him to act differently now. I love him dearly and am truly a fortunate woman!!

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        #18
        Originally posted by kelpa123 View Post
        Thanks everyone! It really did help to hear your thoughts. For the most part, our circle of friends are AB and don't know the details of the caregiving support I provide. I prefer it that way but as Kate pointed out, the imbalance that this creates leaves me craving occasional recognition for the long list of small sacrifices that I make. After 30 years, I do know the man and it's foolish to expect him to act differently now. I love him dearly and am truly a fortunate woman!!
        and u got a shiny! lol. here's to many more years!
        "Smells like death in a bucket of chicken!"
        http://www.elportavoz.com/

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          #19
          Originally posted by kelpa123 View Post
          Thanks everyone! It really did help to hear your thoughts. For the most part, our circle of friends are AB and don't know the details of the caregiving support I provide. I prefer it that way but as Kate pointed out, the imbalance that this creates leaves me craving occasional recognition for the long list of small sacrifices that I make. After 30 years, I do know the man and it's foolish to expect him to act differently now. I love him dearly and am truly a fortunate woman!!
          And he is no doubt a very fortunate man
          Please donate a dollar a day at http://justadollarplease.org.
          Copy and paste this message to the bottom of your signature.

          Thanks!

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            #20
            I get it but for the most part, "most" men don't think like we do.

            Mine is really good with splurging on me even though I sometimes get gifts he wants. I often feel I'm the one letting him down gift wise but I know he buys all year long as I do too.

            Happy 30th! Perhaps you can also mention finding yourself some p/t help for the next year. Very reasonable request if possible.

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              #21
              David and I have been married for 19 years, 4 1/2 of which I have been his caregiver. Our first Christmas together, it was Christmas eve and we were coming back home (we lived an hour away from our families) once we got close to home he pulled into the local mall. I asked what are you doing, it's Christmas eve and the mall will be packed...he told me to stay in the car he had to run into get me something, did I have any ideas for him. Needless to say, that was the last time I let him buy me anything for Christmas or whatever. I from that point on bought my own too. I also have a very pretty lilac bush the "kids" bought me for mothers day..haha, at least that's what I tell everyone else.

              Congrats on the 30th!

              Maybe for the 35th, have one of your friends help him plan something, that way you can give ideas but he will think it was all up to him and he just may get into it and really surprise you.

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                #22
                Not sure if this post is any good to you-but just another perspective. My parents had their 40th anniversary last week and i am not proud to say it but not one of us (4 children) remembered. Ok 2 of the family are men and they have always been reminded by us girls, but my sister is occupied with a one year old and trying to entertaining in-laws visiting and i have been pre-occupied with Noirin. My father even picked me and Noirin up from the airport after an orthotic review in the rehab hospital and had to tell me that the date was important and i really struggled to think why? Needless to say trying to make up for it big time but noirin promised to draw a card and that has made them happy-well at least on the surface. WE know we will all have to pull together and plan something special. Congratulations on being a caregiver so long. It is sad to say but i think i would really struggle if it was my husband was injured instead of my daughter- the resentment would get to me -you are definitelly a better person!but i know we don't know how will cope till it happens. Take care and wishing you and your husband continued happiness .

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                  #23
                  Just read through my post and really feel bad about mentioning resentment. I feel really disrespectful to your husband and i didn't mean to. It's probably more got to do with whats going on in my head!. A 6 year old is not the most appreciative every time you interfere with TV to do bowel/bladder stuff/stretches but its amazing how a good BM or good range of movement in hips/ankles rewards me-sad but true!

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