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son c5/c6 15 months post :(

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  • son c5/c6 15 months post :(

    Mind you my son does not share a lot of his feelings....yesterday he briefly shared his grief and I am not sure I can help. I won't go into details but you can imagine the grief and his loss of will to live like this. We are currently far from home at Project Walk in California working towards good health and recovery and are trying to plan for his independence from his parents for him in the near future as a typical 21 year old that is what he needs we think emotionally. We are from a small town in New England and there is not much to offer there most of his friends are away at college and have moved on in their lives and therapy and medical care are very very limited for someone with a spinal cord injury. He was away at college for 1.5 years prior to his accident living his life and now everything has gone full circle....now dependent on mom, dad and others 24/7. He even mentioned checking himself in to a place with 24/7 care (nursing home)...he really has no clue as to the horrors of that existence. You know..... he refuses counseling and or anti depressants ...where to go from here???

  • #2
    get him ind, once he gets that, he will have a better outlook on life. 1st 5 years are hell, especially 4 a quad............PUSH HIM HARD.
    Bike-on.com rep
    John@bike-on.com
    c4/5 inc funtioning c6. 28 yrs post.
    sponsored handcycle racer

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    • #3
      Independence?

      Thanks for your thoughts!!!
      What does that mean? transfer, Ic's, cooking etc.....?
      Or living in his own space with help but under his control?
      Would you think a roommate and personal care attendant would be the best route?
      California or Vermont...California has so much more to offer someone with a SCI yet I can't imagine him being so far from "home". I know people do it but OMG.
      Don't even know where to start...I think I have a plan and than all the what if's, come flooding through.
      I look to your posts often for guidance, as I only want was is best for him, as I am sure you know.
      Peace be with you!

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      • #4
        Keeping serotonin levels high can help prevent depression. Serotonin levels go up by talking w/ friends, fresh air, sunshine (or lots of Vitamin D3), exercise, & taking the natural dietary supplement 5-HTP. Spring Break is soon... maybe one or more of his friends from New England could be flown to Calif to visit - lift his spirits? (Don't ask you son for permission to do this - he'll just say "No".)
        Following are excerpts from respected MEDLINE articles to consider:

        Cleve Clin J Med. 2003 Jul;70(7):614, 616,
        http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12882383
        Weight gain caused by antidepressant drugs is a major reason for patient noncompliance with treatment and poor treatment outcome.

        Oxford Journals QJM 2007 100(7):395-404;
        http://qjmed.oxfordjournals.org/cgi/...ract/100/7/395
        Several drugs... used in the treatment of chronic disease, are consistently associated with weight gain as a side effect.

        Alternative Medicine Review: A Journal Of Clinical Therapeutic 1998 Aug; Vol. 3 (4), pp. 271-80.
        5-HTP is well absorbed from an oral dose...Therapeutic administration of 5-HTP has been shown to be effective in treating a wide variety of conditions, including depression, fibromyalgia, binge eating associated with obesity, chronic headaches, and insomnia.

        Journal Of Psychiatry & Neuroscience 2003 Nov; Vol. 28 (6), pp. 471.

        5-HTP is an abbreviation for 5-hydroxytryptophan, the immediate precursor of serotonin. It is considered a natural treatment... In studies where 5-HTP was found to be better than placebo, it was given at doses of 200 mg per day or more.
        "Let your food be your medicine" - Hippocrates

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        • #5
          return to school with help from attendants for care
          Vocational rehabilitation will pay tuition etc. (may take effort but worth it)
          contact depts of disabled at colleges he wants to go to
          Get involved in politics as if your life depended on it, because it does. -- Justin Dart

          I shall not tolerate ignorance or hate speech on this site.

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          • #6
            I agree with Liz, going back to school is probably the best thing for him to do.

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            • #7
              Any chance of getting him on here ..... there a number of kids at CC going to school, working , not doing either of those things .. all shapes,sizes and levels .... it would be a great support for him .... just read some of Mr.Coffee's posts .... if nothing else they'll make him smile ! All the best ...

              Obieone
              ~ Be the change you wish to see in the world ~ Mahatma Gandi


              " calling all Angels ...... calling all Angels ....walk me through this one .. don't leave me alone .... calling all Angels .... calling all Angels .... we're tryin' and we're hopin' cause we're not sure how ....... this .... goes ..."
              Jane Siberry

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              • #8
                I am doing all of that...he has a friend here from New England since August for peer support and compainship other than mom and he has had multiple visitors and we are planing a trip to Las Vegas for his 21 st birthday next week, a trip home at the end of April and we talk about school (I have done the research and have the applications ) but he has no interest as long as he is in a wheelchair. He works out 4 days a week at Project Walk in Carlsbad which has been a godsend and I must say that although we are in sunny San Diego he has spent very little time in the sunshine not interested. One can not make a 21yr old do anything...I am trying

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                • #9
                  ind is key. transfers, dressing etc. then back to school. i dont agree w/ sending him back to school dependant on others.

                  i dont think bringing him herre is good either, to many lazy asses
                  Bike-on.com rep
                  John@bike-on.com
                  c4/5 inc funtioning c6. 28 yrs post.
                  sponsored handcycle racer

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                  • #10
                    Thanks.......I agree to a point...
                    Without help returning to his own life (school) may be to far off.
                    I do agree with not bringing him to CC it is helpful but he has enough to deal with without having to here all the what if's.
                    We went to the "Meet the Scientists" symposium in Irvine yesterday hoping that would inspire him but I am not so sure what he came away with. I was inspired and know that staying healthy and living life while the cure is found is the only way to move forward...just can't get that through to him.....typical 21 year old..he has a mind of his own and an attitude that I hope will be beneficial in the long run on this journey .
                    Peace be with you...........

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by fuentejps View Post
                      i dont think bringing him herre is good either, to many lazy asses
                      Ah fuente .... you may have crossed a line with me here making such a sweeping generalization .... or did I misunderstand you?

                      Obieone
                      ETA - there are many many people visiting this site and after 10 years+ here I think I can safely say that's a totally inaccurate statement.
                      ~ Be the change you wish to see in the world ~ Mahatma Gandi


                      " calling all Angels ...... calling all Angels ....walk me through this one .. don't leave me alone .... calling all Angels .... calling all Angels .... we're tryin' and we're hopin' cause we're not sure how ....... this .... goes ..."
                      Jane Siberry

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                      • #12
                        Neverf let him give up hope, never accept sci. Im 21 yrs post never have accepted it, never will...................
                        Bike-on.com rep
                        John@bike-on.com
                        c4/5 inc funtioning c6. 28 yrs post.
                        sponsored handcycle racer

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                        • #13
                          Sorry for the side track there newdimension .... I only meant when your son is ready .... CC is very dear to me so I tend to be a biased .... you know whats best for your son of course !

                          Obieone
                          ~ Be the change you wish to see in the world ~ Mahatma Gandi


                          " calling all Angels ...... calling all Angels ....walk me through this one .. don't leave me alone .... calling all Angels .... calling all Angels .... we're tryin' and we're hopin' cause we're not sure how ....... this .... goes ..."
                          Jane Siberry

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                          • #14
                            Perhaps the OP would be more comfortable in the private Caregivers forum.

                            Since Fuentejps is making such a global statement about our users, I wonder why he is here...since he is part of that group.

                            (KLD)
                            The SCI-Nurses are advanced practice nurses specializing in SCI/D care. They are available to answer questions, provide education, and make suggestions which you should always discuss with your physician/primary health care provider before implementing. Medical diagnosis is not provided, nor do the SCI-Nurses provide nursing or medical care through their responses on the CareCure forums.

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                            • #15
                              speaking about quads only, there are some very motivated ones and more that arent.[...] the op knows exactly what i mean.....
                              Last edited by Steven Edwards; 03-12-2009, 03:49 PM. Reason: removed personal attacks
                              Bike-on.com rep
                              John@bike-on.com
                              c4/5 inc funtioning c6. 28 yrs post.
                              sponsored handcycle racer

                              Comment

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