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    #46
    This is an interesting old thread, and the responses are different then I expected.

    My father was hospitalized for quite awhile after his accident + rehab > 6 months. While he was in rehab, there were a few times my mom or one of my brothers might sit in the chair.... perhaps because there weren't enough chairs in the room to sit in, or maybe we wanted to move it out of the room by pushing it.

    If we did this, my father would get very quiet... and was clearly very upset. He could cry a little....

    He was so devastated by his own injuries, that in his mind, the only worse thing he could imagine was his wife or child getting injured (or my mom's arthritis becoming more debilitating with time) and being confined to a chair. The image of one of us sitting in his wheelchair was extremely scary and upsetting to him for this reason.

    He never told us not to sit in the chair. But I think that Pavlovian conditioning has kept us from sitting in his wheelchair since that time...

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      #47
      Thanks Obie, it is interesting reading other views...My son has a power chair and it took me forever to learn how to drive it...

      One of probably the nastiest things I have done in my life (and would do again...) was early with the injury...My son stayed in what was my grandkids play room...very small...room for the bed and in order to get the chair and hoyer in there you had to move the bed against the wall and take the bed table out of the room...

      So not to get off topic I will simply say the woman who was responsible for the wreck...did help 1 night a week for a few weeks...that was during the time my son needed to be turned every couple hours and I was so sleep deprived I would go upstairs the minute she walked in the door...so, one night I moved the wheelchair next to the bed and there was not room for the chair she usually moved into the room..I told her to sit in it, it was too much trouble to move it out of the room...she friggin freaked after just a couple minutes...and then of course the fight of the century started...to this day she has never been back...I remember her saying "but it is so uncomfortable, I can't sit in it" from there you can only imagine the words of a mother so tired, so overwhelmed and sooo sad...I swear, had she not ran out the door I think I had the strength to have killed her...but, that was then...and this is now...and yes, I can drive that chair without running into anything...and I can even laugh when we are out in a parking lot and my son puts it in high gear and becomes a speed racer...

      I was a little sad reading this 5 yr post and wondering where the poster's are today...and how they are doing...and so thankful for the "old timers" who still give from their heart and share their experiences. I can only say Thank You! judy

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        #48
        Judy - Wow, I couldn't imagine any other response to a statement like that!
        ...and my wife and I do laugh sometimes when she puts the chair in its fastest mode and races down an aisle in the store, leaving me behind - it's not only kids!
        - Richard

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          #49
          Richard...he'll be 40 this year, lol...not a kid!

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            #50
            ...it's all relative!
            but then I should have caught that, seeing your mention of grandkids

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              #51
              This is a brilliant thread, thanks for bumping it Obieone.

              I sit in my husbands chair all the time, got to to move it round (its electric).I dont feel weird about it although my friend wont sit in her hubbys chair. Says its bad luck.
              Birdy

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                #52
                My son has 4 or 5 buddies of whom I coached in sports, or they just didn't have a dad around and I was kinda the adopted dad. They came to see me in hosp. but not til I could get around a bit. Now they all gotta try the chair when I'm in the recliner. My grand son and 2 grand daughters just love it.My 22 yr old son is almost as good at wheelies as me, but my wife, she'll sit in it, but can't push worth a shit so she ends up jus' sittin.

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                  #53
                  I used a wheelchair and played sports in the gym as an organized activity during my son's rehab at Craig Hospital. It kinda taught me lots of things all at once.

                  1. Challenges of being in a wheelchair.
                  2. Skills take time to master.
                  3. Never sit in my son's chair. I just view it as an expensive piece of equipment that
                  he must have. I don't want to see anything broken or out of adjustment on it.
                  Parts and service are not easy to come by out in the boonies, so I have the
                  utmost care and respect for this important item. He has to spend so much time
                  in his chair, that I view it as a part of him... (like hey lady...can I borrow YOUR
                  legs to play with for awhile?)
                  Last edited by GRAMMY; 4 Jan 2009, 11:17 PM. Reason: need capital letters
                  http://spinalcordresearchandadvocacy.wordpress.com/

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                    #54
                    i could have sat in the chair and was invited too, but i could not bring myself too... the reason? well i recently learned about people you guys call "devos" and i dont want to be made fun of or be called a devo if i sat in one.
                    i always get teased and well - so i did not sit in the chair... i hung my clothes all over it though and used it like my own personal vanity for the weekend! LOL
                    but maybe next time i might get in it, seems not so nice of me to indulge someones invitation to sit in one... but i could not help feeling goofy about it.
                    well best not to read to much into it right? or am i looking at this all the wrong way?
                    i mean really how should i feel about it? should i be super enthusiastic? or should i feel shame that i did not sit in it?

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                      #55
                      Originally posted by nickelo View Post
                      i could have sat in the chair and was invited too, but i could not bring myself too... the reason? well i recently learned about people you guys call "devos" and i dont want to be made fun of or be called a devo if i sat in one.
                      i always get teased and well - so i did not sit in the chair... i hung my clothes all over it though and used it like my own personal vanity for the weekend! LOL
                      but maybe next time i might get in it, seems not so nice of me to indulge someones invitation to sit in one... but i could not help feeling goofy about it.
                      well best not to read to much into it right? or am i looking at this all the wrong way?
                      i mean really how should i feel about it? should i be super enthusiastic? or should i feel shame that i did not sit in it?
                      You should've sat in it, topless. You would've seen all the things I have to go through to move around in here. Especially outside pushing up the ramp to get towards my house from the driveway. LOL. Next time
                      C-5/6, 7-9-2000
                      Scottsdale, AZ

                      Make the best out of today because yesterday is gone and tomorrow may never come. Nobody knows that better than those of us that have almost died from spinal cord injury.

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                        #56
                        ryan! i'll sit in it next time i promise, but not topless outside!

                        be good!

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                          #57
                          Originally posted by hlh View Post
                          He was so devastated by his own injuries, that in his mind, the only worse thing he could imagine was his wife or child getting injured (or my mom's arthritis becoming more debilitating with time) and being confined to a chair. The image of one of us sitting in his wheelchair was extremely scary and upsetting to him for this reason.
                          Absolutely the thought of one of my loved ones being hurt this way is far more devastating to me than my own injuries are. I can barely stand the thought. That being said, it never bothered me in the past to see anyone sitting in my wheelchair. Quite a few of my friends, most of the little ones that I know, even my mother have all sat in my chair at various times. My husband sits in it on a fairly regular basis. Not a problem. People recognize it as the mobility tool that it is, although the kids mostly see it as fun.

                          The one and only time that I am aware of being a bit bothered seeing someone sit in my chair happened just a couple of weeks ago. At my parents' house, I was sitting on the couch and the only seat available in the room when my sister came in was my wheelchair. So she asked if she could sit in it. Sure, I said. A few minutes later, I looked over at her and felt a knot in my stomache. I did NOT like that image at all. My sister is an amazing woman and has been completely and totally supportive of me in every important way over the years. If anything truly devastating happened to her, something even worse than having her sister injured, I don't know how I could stand it and I don't think I would be half as good at supporting her as she has been with me. Even now, the thought makes me tear up.

                          There's probably a reason why seeing my sister sitting there struck me so strongly in a way that no other loved one has, but I'd have to think about it a lot more (or ask a therapist) and right now, I've got enough other stuff to obsess over. I'll save it for another day.

                          C.

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                            #58
                            I don't let people sit in my chair for a few reasons. The main reason is that I have a Roho Quatro cushion that has the 4 air chambers that mold to my butt and having someone sit in the chair defeat the purpose of that cushion. Second is that it is an expensive chair with articulating leg rests and the DME guy made it quite clear that Medicare does NOT cover impact damage with those leg rests. So if someone damages my chair it comes out of my pocket to repair and I don't have the $$ for that. Sure I could try to get the money for repairs from the person who may damage the chair but then there is the old saying about trying to get blood from a turnip. lol Now if someone wants to sit in my old manual chair that only has an old cotton/polyester cushion in, sure have a good time.

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                              #59
                              I sort of avoid sitting in others wheelchairs, if I can...
                              The last one I sat in for the fun of it, was my college boyfriend's chair. I was doing wheelies in it until I flipped over and hit my head on the lockers...I couldn't get up since I was pinned against the lockers with my head bent to my chin...someone had to pull the chair away and pull my legs so I could get my neck straighten out...I was "lucky" that I didn't break my neck, the way I got stuck like that...I had a nasty headache along with a sore neck...I learned later that my boyfriend had remove the part of his wheelchair that prevents flipping over so he could do better wheelies...oh well...guys will be daredevils...

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                                #60
                                sit in it and roll around somewhere for 20 minutes when you're trying to do just normal stuff grabbing at things, making a sandwich or whatever.... you'll get a whole new perspective on how little things become much more challenging, even more than you already knew. I've had friends sit in my chair... no big deal, it helps them get perspective

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