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    #16
    belated welcome

    Lately all i do is worry into the night about my husband leaving rehab and being put into the hands of some scarey soap opera watching-bedsore ignoring-valuables fondling-she wolf home health aide. I know it's crazy (I don't have any valuables except the husband)and I'm just believing too many grocery store checkout horror stories,but, I'm glad you are here to show me what good and professional people there are working out there!

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      #17
      How Do You Stand it?

      Dear Trauma,

      You must be a saint to put up with all of that nasty stuff. My recommendation to you is, take a vacation someplace. Take a cruise to Tahiti or the Carribean and kick back and think, " Is this what I want to subject myself too?" I know you want to help people, but the first person you should help to save you r sanity, is yourself. You sound like you need a month's vacation away from your job. Do it! Life is too short!

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        #18
        Originally posted by prttynpnk:

        Lately all i do is worry into the night about my husband leaving rehab and being put into the hands of some scarey soap opera watching-bedsore ignoring-valuables fondling-she wolf home health aide. I know it's crazy (I don't have any valuables except the husband)and I'm just believing too many grocery store checkout horror stories,but, I'm glad you are here to show me what good and professional people there are working out there!
        P-n-P,

        WOW. With an attitude like that, you are certain to bring problems with home health staff upon yourself. They'll pick up on that hostility in a heartbeat. I simply shudder to think that this is exactly what some of the families who's kids I care for thought...until they finally figured out that the nurses and aides are there to HELP them.

        Pink, if you really feel this way, I have a few suggestions to you that will make things easier for you and your husband.

        *If you're so worried about your valuables, lock anything priceless or that cannot be replaced up. Take inventory of your possessions and get yourself some homeowner's insurance.

        *Make your expectations of the aides clear-cut from the beginning. If your aching back needs a break from turning your husband every 2 hours, if you're burnt out on bowel care, then tell the agencey specifically that this is what you want the staff to handle. You're going to have to show the first nurse or two how your and your husband have grown accustomed to having these intimate, important details taken care of. But after they learn, they can teach any other caregivers, with your guidance of course.

        *Don't stonewall the nurses. Take their suggestions. We're not there for decoration, we have been to schol and learned a thing or two. Remember there's more than one way to skin a cat. Otherwise you'll wind up in an "Us against Them" situation and no one wants that.

        *Treat the staff who come to your home as you'd like to be treated. Remeber we're employees, not indentured servants with lobotomies or she-wolves.

        *I'm no shining exception to the rule; most nurses do care. Trust your instincts, you'll be able to tell whether you can trust each aide with his care.

        A word about bedsores: if the nurses (and you) are trained right, for the most part it won't be a problem.

        I ask you, as a person who has encoutered suspicious, hostile mothers, wives, and fathers, remeber - the staff is NOT all about getting YOU. They will pick up on that kind of attitude you just expressed. If it gets bad enough, you'll have a heck of a time getting your case staffed by good caregivers. They'll send the newbies and the ones who are fired off the other cases for frequent call-offs etc. Just a word to the wise. I know you're worried enough about coming home with your hubby as it is, but there is such overt malice in the tone of your post that I worry for the nurses who should happen into your home.

        On the bright side, if you give the staff a chance, who knows, you may find yourself actually liking a few of them, watching "Days of Our Lives" WITH the aide in an easy chair as your bed-sore free, well cared for husband takes a little snooze beside you, holding your hand.

        I swear I should write a book. Thanks for the enlightenment.

        Good luck to you and your husband.

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          #19
          Trauma,
          I really do appreciate what you've said and my fear of the unknown was attempting to come out in humor but if 'overt malice' was the only feeling conveyed I apologize to you. I do admire the amount of time and feeling you have put into your job and hope we will be blessed with the same caliber of help. Reading your posts really have put me at ease- I'm sorry if I added to your feelings of not being appreciated.

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            #20
            Hi. I read your article, skimmed through the replies, just wanted to say that I wish we had been blessed with someone like you while learning and going through the adjustments of sci with my son. I took it all on myself and that is a very hard thing to do, I did not know that there would have been somebody where I live close enough to be available anyhow with a teenagers schedule - these people you deal with other than the patient should get a letter from someone like me and see just how wonderful it is that they have you. It was hell waiting for return phone calls, trying to find information for all the questions I had in the meantime, second guessing myself constantly, worry, worry, worry and so on. I felt very alone. It is sad that people have a compassionate and giving nurse/caregiver and then don't appreciate it, for your patients sake that you do care about now and into the future, don't let them get the better of you if you can...you are a blessing.
            "I want to make a difference! However small it may be~ as long as it's a positive one, then this is what my life will have been about and I will go knowing I did my best.~ T.

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