Kate's On Line Journal

[kap]

welcome Trish!!!!! I wish I had words of wisdom for you but I too am just figuring out this whole SCI mess.

Last week was really hard for me but this week I'm feeling much better. Trying to bear the cold weather here. It just amazes me that I woke up to 50 degree weather yesterday morning and now its negative something or other (does it really matter once its below zero???? , its just damn cold!)

Last night Rob was getting ready for a shower (which is now in our laundry room) and I was doing laundry. I came up behind him to give him a hug. He held my hands tight and hugged me back, I'm not sure what happened from there but his wheelchair tipped backwards and gracefully he fell backwards on the floor. I was standing over him, he was still holding my hands. I just stood there mouth wide open. How the hell did that happen? We both start laughing, he's lying on the ground and we are laughing. My six year old comes in to see what is so funny, she sees her dad on the floor and the wheelchair tipped over, she starts crying and yelling at me, "How could you let daddy fall over?" Rob and I start laughing even harder. I had to leave him on the ground and calm down her down. We eventually stopped laughing enough to get Rob back in his chair.

Rob can't wait to tell family and friends how I gave him the smack down.

Hopefully we haven't scarred our 6 year old for life.

Hope you all are having warmer weather in your neck of the woods.

Kelly

[Obieone]

Hey Kap ... you've figured out one of the cardinal rules of sci ... never loose your sense of humour !! You'll be amazed at what you learn to laugh at whilst everyone around is looking at you like you're nuts ..... sokay ... helps us stay sane .. and I wouldn't worry about you scaring your 6 year old ... our youngest daughter was 3 when her Dad got hurt .. grew up in a very different family dynamic then her elder bro and sis's .... mature beyond her years and laughs at the absurdity of some of the situations we find ourselves in right along with the rest of us!

Oh ... by the way ... you want cold ... I'll give you cold .... http://www.weatheroffice.gc.ca/city/..._metric_e.html ..... yup that's -35 C /-45C with the windchill .... ....... we're tough as nails here on the frozen Canajun' prairie ..... its a dry cold ..... hang in there at least we don't have to contend with 'squiters ....

Obieone

[kap]

Obi- Brrrrrrrrrrr! Stay warm, ever tried hot choclate w/ butter shots in it. Yum! It will warm you up instantly.

[trish81766]

Thank you for the warm welcome!
Racheal had a wonderful birthday and was out of her bed for most of the day, which is remarkable for her because usually she doesn't want to do much of anything. I told her about this site but she still isn't ready to talk with others about her disability. I guess with time comes healing. I still cry just about everyday it is hard for me to remember my daughter taking her first steps, her first ballet class, learning to ride her bike and just dancing around the house. She still has her sence of humor which has just gotton a little demented...she jokes and tells me she wants to be a stand up comedian!
Anyway, have an appt with her OT and PT today, she has refused to go since she was released from the hospital we are hoping that they can talk her into comming back. She will be getting her Bowflex this week so maybe that will help with her deppression, maybe it will help with mine.
Anyway, it looks like rain again so it should be fun trying to get her in and out of the little Toyota Corolla without us both getting soaking wet.
Good Day to all, keep smiling and take one day at a time.

[kap]

Rob starts work today!

I'm not sure if I'm worried, happy or what????? He was a police officer before his accident and he has gone back to the same department as a dispatcher.

I worry about his bowel and bladder care at work. How will his back and butt feel after 8 plus hours in the chair? I'm worried about a pressure sore that has healed on his butt but will it get worse? I'm sure he is fine but I want to call and make sure . He's a big boy and can handle it but I still worry.

I'm excited to get back to our old schedule. I have enjoyed having Rob at home every night but I was used to having him work 2nd shift. I'm ready to have that time to myself again. I used to love putting the girls to bed and enjoying those hours when no one asked what I was doing or watching some sappy lifetime movie without fighting over the remote.

So this morning as he left for training I was torn. Is this a good thing or should he just stay home and be Mr. Mom (the girls loved him being home all the time.) I guess time shall tell.

Its supposed to snow 8-12 inches tonight and into tomorrow. Darn snow!! Is a little sun and green grass too much to ask for?????

Kelly

[GoBig]

Hey Kap

It is wonderful to hear that he is going back to work. I just went on LTD and am 42yrs old. I worked for five years in the chair afte my SCI. It will be great for him to have other things to talk about with you at the kitchen table. He will do fine with the bathroom stuff. If he has any trouble he can always dispatch the HAZ-MAT team to the rescue.

[kap]

I wanted to check in after a week of sickness in our house. I had a horrible sinus infection, the girls both had bronchitis, and now Rob has a terrible cold. I keep disinfecting the house hoping to kill all the germs. I'm glad to be feeling "normal" again. I can actually breathe!

Rob has been back to work for two weeks now and all is going well. Actually way better than I had thought. He's a little tired when he gets home but nothing too horrible. (I envisioned him coming home everyday and going to bed the rest of the night.) He enjoys being part of the working class again and seeing all his friends. I have been religously checking his butt in fear of the pressure sore coming back. He's frustrated that my obsession with his butt has nothing to do with foreplay.

I'm once again trying to schedule our trip to Walt Disney World (for the third time in 13 months.) Of course the week Rob has vacation the hotels are completely booked. I'm starting to think my kids will never get to experience the happiest place on earth. ****a deep sigh**** I have visions of me packing the kids up in the car, kissing Rob goodbye, and hauling the pop up camper behind us with a sign in the back window "Disney or Bust." I'm just worried with the way luck is going it would be a bust somewhere along the way.

On a happier note, February is half way over and its getting lighter in the mornings. I can see spring around the corner!!!!

[Obieone]

I have been religously checking his butt in fear of the pressure sore coming back. He's frustrated that my obsession with his butt has nothing to do with foreplay.
........................
On a happier note, February is half way over and its getting lighter in the mornings. I can see spring around the corner!!!!

Oh Kap .... I so hear that ... Jesus Mary and Joseph we are tough as nails .... (pat pat pat on the back )
We worry for ourselves and we take on the worry for them .... we are so going on a spa day ... some day .. every single one of us .... for a year !

Obieone

[byrdssis]

Hi I am new to all of this so please patient with me. My brother was in an accident in November and has been paralized ever since he is 27 never been married and still lives at home with Mom and Dad. I dont understand much about all this but i am trying to learn and help my parents out. Any advice on how to help them thru this please let me know

[kap]

byrdssis,

Welcome! I'm sorry to hear about your brother. I think one of the best things for one of the family members to do is get on the forums and read and talk to others. SCI completely sucks and its hard to deal with but it seems easier to deal with when you know your not alone.

I can remember my husband coming home from the hospital and feeling like we were the only people who ever had to deal with this crap and life just wasn't fair. Then I met some of the most amazing people through this website who offer great advice and a shoulder to cry on.

We are still in our first year of injury. Of course it feels more like ten years, but it has gotten easier. We have good days more often than bad days now. I remember when a good day never seemed possible.

You may want to fill out your profile more so people can better understand level of injury and who you are.

Take care,
Kelly

[Obieone]

Soooo how's everyone doin' ?? Whoville has been awful quiet lately ... but then maybe everyone is outdoors enjoying SpringalmostSummer ! Only a few days until the Summer Solstice .... anyone do anything hedonistic sans ritualistic to celebrate? I have a telescope I like to get out and star gaze in the summer .... always helps me puts my life in perspective in case I've gotten off track .... kind of a tonic for the soul!

Our renos are nearing completion I'm happy to report. Because we received a gov't grant to do the work we had a visit from an inspector today to make sure everything is up to code .... other than a few minor details it went pretty well ! So if all goes well with the flooring we should be a family again about the middle of July ... ..... ..... .... lots of mixed emotions of course .... another period of readjustment ... but .... been there done that ... and lived to tell the tale ... so I suspect it will be done once more.

It's graduation time once again in our little town and I overhear people making plans and bustling around buying gowns and renting tux's .... its a pretty major event in a small community like ours so almost everyone gets involved in one way or another. I usually go to the hall on grad night to watch the kids do "the Grand March" .... its a kind of ritual where the grad and their escorts are presented to the audience amidst the strains of some appropriately sentimental song playing in the background .... the hall is decorated to the nine's .... transformed into a fairy land of tulle and sparkly lights and everyone gets teary eyed and nostalgic .... I love it and look forward to it every year ....

I do hope everyone is doing well out there in CC land .... I hope you are all taking some time to enjoy the warmer weather and slower pace of this time of year .... well .... I suppose slower is a relative term now .... isn't it ???

Be nice to hear how ya'll is doin .....

Obieone

[lilsister]

Obe's,
Happy Solstice to you! Our book club, "The Naked Virgins (yeah, right!) of the Summer" will be meeting for our special solstice meeting on Tuesday which includes copious amounts of wine, a dish brought by everyone to share, and dancing in the moonlight. The book selection for this month is " Eat Pray Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert, an excellent book that we saved for this special meeting. My guess is there will be a ton of pasta, gelato, curry and surprise....wine! This book club has been a godsend for me, I mean what could be better than literary pursuits, friends and wine? It's my night out every month and I have even scored a scrabble buddy which is so cool. The friends have been great, we manage to get in extra-curricular activities as able, cocktails, walks, tea parties and support for each other.
Jim is doing well, finally getting some serious sun after a long, snowy winter (over 100 inches). It can't be possible that it has been 8 years since his accident! Holy Schmoley! How our lives have changed! I am lucky to have the most positive, encouraging brother known to man and hope we can continue to work well together indefinitely.
We also have continued to cross off several more contruction projects off our list and reap the rewards. Debra

[kate]

Warmer, you say?

That's a relative term . . . here in the great forests we're still kinda waiting for the summer to show up. When Heather graduated a week or so ago it was still so chilly we were wearing North face jackets and pants.

Our happiest moment was in my goofy liberal church. Here's the deal: when Bruce and i were going to get married, like 25 years ago, we were thinking maybe it would be nice to do it in a church--you know, as an alternative to outdoors or at the courthouse or something.

We went downtown to a congregational church because he'd grown up in one, and the very last thing on my mind was to --gasp!-- join the thing. Never wanted to be one of them, eh?

So they happened to be having a service that involved the teenagers in the congregation running things . . . and I could see that those kids were just cherished by their community--like, in a way that I had never seen a group of adults radiating warmth and happiness and good vibes at a group of kids. Especially kids who were clearly not their own. (Obi, your lovely graduation story reminded me of this.)

Anyway, the whole thing just shook me, and I remember thinking, wow, if I'm ever lucky enough to have some kids, I want them to be loved like that.

So, a week ago last Sunday, there I was watching my youngest stand up with the rest of the seniors. We have in our church a gang of very aggressive quilters who call themselves the Piecemakers; every year they make a queen-sized quilt for each senior kid, which is during the worship service publicly wrapped around that kid. This year there were 15 seniors, and they'd been led to believe that it was just too much for the ladies to make all those quilts. They thought (very bitterly!) that they might be getting pillows or something instead.

It was quilts.

Heather's quilt (each one is different) is made from little scraps of everyone else's, in a stair-step pattern repeated dozens of times . . . she's the one who touches everyone, whom everyone wants to touch. A junior girl came up from behind her and wrapped it around her and hugged her tight.

She is of course known to almost everyone there as the little girl whose dad broke his neck while they were skiing at Alpental together. She is the girl who needed so much from this community, and got it, again and again.

So it was full circle for me. My own daughter, raised up inside a strong warm place, knowing she was not alone. Exactly what I knew I wanted all those years ago, only I didn't know how it would feel to live into it and through it.

Hey . . . I've been reading some great little blogs lately. You should check out http://www.37days.typepad.com/

It's pretty much amazing.

Here's the girl and her dad . . .



Yikes I looked at the preview of that and couldn't tell that he is disabled. Have I mentioned that he's a ridiculously tough and centered person? Lucky me.

[john smith]

Kate;

Such a beautiful photo of Bruce and Heather!

John

PS: We are busy but will be in touch.

[Obieone]

Quilts... what an absolutely lovely idea .... I just might borrow it if you don't mind ... we have quilters here on the prairies of course but they make quilts to be auctioned in order to raise money for our church camp or our rec centre .... little does your daughter and her friends know how the value of those quilts will increase daily throughout the rest of their lives giving them a soft place to fall ..... over and over again .....

I love pics of daughters and their Dad's .... they're special in way I can't quite describe .... congrats to Heather and to Mom and Dad ..... Lichiam {clink} ......

Obieone