Kate's On Line Journal

[marmalady]

Congrats, Vicky, on the exciting new job (as a former thoroughly entrenched in the 60's social movement, it's heartening to know that Vista still even exists!).

And - congrats on Bri's independence!!! As long as you're a mom, you're still a caregiver!!!!

_____________
Tough times don't last - tough people do.

[Elizabeth0116]

SciMom, if it isn't too nosey to ask, what will you be doing with VISTA? Is this related somehow to your library work? Either way, it's great of you to be doing it.

Marmalady, I remember my 60's and "social enlightenment" with fond fond memories. Sometimes I wish fervently for those times when the path seemed so clear (though obviously it wasn't!). If anyone had told me I would turn into the typical middle-aged middle-class woman I not only loathed, but pitied back then I would have said they were nuts! [img]/forum/images/smilies/eek.gif[/img]

[Sci Mom]

Elizabeth~Of course it's not too nosey! My job for the next year will be to help a small public library transition into a new, larger building. I will be revamping their collection (pulling old books, buying new ones) and helping them with cataloging the new books. We are also switching to a new circulation system, so that's always exciting. I think after the move I will also be involved in getting some programs scheduled and doing some PR work to get people into the new library. I'm lucky...this is right up my alley! It's going to be a lot of fun...You made me laugh with your description of "those middle-aged women"...I know just what you mean!!

And Jackie, as usual, you are exactly right: Once a mom, always a mom/caregiver! [img]/forum/images/smilies/wink.gif[/img] VISTA is still going strong; this training session was for the southern states only, and had 180 people. They also had one last July, so it sounds like people are still interested in the program. It's funny how people are much more familiar with the Peace Corps, though. I keep calling it a "domestic Peace Corps" whenever people ask...

[kate]

Monday night--feels like ages since I could keep up with what all of you are doing. Vicky, I'm so happy to hear that Bri is finding her way, and allowing you to do the same. Jackie, your voice was missed (a lot!) during the move; I really hope it's all settled down and you've found all your stuff. Elizabeth, there's no such thing as "too nosey" on this thread . . . we are all about the details!

We went to Minnesota. Good GOD, did we go to Minnesota. By car . . . OK, by minivan, a Dodge with 157,000 miles on it. Bruce is currently using a wheelchair, or a walker, or his crutches, or a cane, so we brought them all along. We had our dog, who weighs about 90#, two teenaged girls with enough clothes and grooming accoutrements to last them for a couple of weeks, the dog's bed, my dufflebag, Bruce's gear, and various video/computer/projecting equipment. It filled the poor van to bursting.

Do you know how far it is from Seattle to Minneapolis? REALLLLLY freaking far!! We listened to the entire tape of the 5th Harry Potter (17 90-minute tapes) plus all of another book called "Knocked Out by My Nunga-Nungas", in which a very amusing and self-absorbed 14-year-old British narrator goes on and on about her, uh, adventures with "snogging" her "Sex God" boyfriend. Don't ask.

On the way . . . the car broke down just after the continental divide, about 25 miles east of Butte, and we spent a very interesting 48 hours stuffed into a truck-stop Super-8 motel waiting for the part to come that would make it possible to leave.

Having lost so much time, we decided to drive straight through to Minnesota, thinking that we would arrive about lunchtime on Tuesday once we got underway at 5 pm on Monday. I drove until 12:30 pm, stopped at a rest area about an hour west of the North Dakota border, unloaded everybody for the big stretch/pee/shifting of seats, and got back in with Bruce driving.

Woke up about 3:30 am, looked around the van, and realized to my absolute horror that one of the wheels to his chair was NOT IN THE CAR. Dear God. Told him. He pulled off the freeway and put his head down on the steering wheel. Drove to the next exit, turned us around, and then I drove us all the way back to the rest area, where the wheel was leaning against the handicapped sign, having been set there by some kind stranger. Very bad few hours, there.

He drove the same stretch out of Montana again, and we stopped to eat breakfast in Dickinson, North Dakota, at a Perkins Pancake House, where we were undoubtedly the loopiest customers they'd ever served. Everything was so funny: the other customers all looked like cartoon characters. We looked like freaks to each other. The food was made of rubber, or possibly silly putty. But, by God, we were going on.

Ten hours later, we finally pulled into--Yesss!!!--Grandpa's driveway! And got out and had a wonderful week resting up from the ordeal and preparing ourselves to do it all again in reverse.

Back home now, finally. Emily starts school on Wednesday, Heather a week later. And I'm going to Hedgebrook to finish the book on the 22nd!

[This message was edited by kate on 08-25-03 at 11:50 PM.]

[KDK513]

Hello my dear friends. Much is new and old at the same time. I sort of feel as if my very old life is back. It is almost 3 in the morning and I am cooking pizza for my son and his friends. The noise from the basement is good and my husband and I returned home late after having dinner and drinks with friends. yes drinks... he has refused any alcohol since his injury 4 years ago, until tonight. Three glasses of wine he had, sigh... he also went into work at 6:45a.m. this week ( as in the old days). He yelled at a telemarketer on the phone Wednesday. This is how things used to be... I am in a state! What's next? Is this because I lost it when the sump pump pipe broke and squirted water in my face not once but three times till I figured out I should unplug it? circumstances? my returning to work full time? my losing the 20 pounds I needed to loose and getting a with it haircut? (the stress diet) Was it simply time? or is he just feeling better? I miss you all, but have been majorly stressed of late with this new job. I need a day with more hours in it or I need to be 20 years younger. much love, Kath

[krajaxa]

Seems like everyone is keeping busy here. Did you get all of your boxes unpacked yet, Jackie?

Two weeks ago our exchange student arrived from Germany, really nice girl. So we have been brushing up on all of that school stuff, since lots of the vocabulary is new to her. But she is starting to get the hang of it.

And last Thursday we found out that instead of just expecting, we are expecting double (the magic of the IVF doctors). So we have less than 7 months to find a new place and move... And I need to find 35 to 45 pounds to put on the 100 I have (trying to find your twenty, Kath!).

Hubby finally got his new titanium chair and he loves it. Started to work on his driver's licence and decision about buying a pick up truck is put off - we will need a minivan... don't you think?

Hope everyone else is doing great,

krajaxa



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[Stacey]

Hi, What a strange day. My son had his first football game today. Joe still isn't going out into public, so I went alone for the first time in 4 years. We used to sit on the bleachers sharing popcorn and cheering him on. It was very lonely sitting there by myself. I felt like I had the plague. People I have talked to at the games for years,avoided me. I should be used to it by now. People don't know what to say, so they pretend they don't see you.
Also, I was on my way to get my hair cut when I got the call that Joe was in the ER. So, needless to say , it's been a bout 18 months since it's been cut. I decided I had had enough and cut it off shoulder length. Should have done it a long time ago. Now if I can just get off the thirty pounds that I have gained in the past year, I'll feel like a new woman.
It will be one year this Friday the 12. Say a prayer for us to get through this next week. I never thought it would be so difficult.
Take care, STacey

[KDK513]

Ok, so Stacey, get your hair cut! How many calories is wine? I think I put 5 pounds back on Saturday night. I agree it is strange to go places by yourself, but I make myself do it and do it and do it, cause the alternative is to do nothing and stay home all the time. I go to parents night, parties, movies, kids sports, name it. I refuse to feel awkward, but can't help feeling lonely. Last Saturday I went to a party alone, had alot of fun, but was a bit sad driving home. I felt bad cause I could go and my husband was at home in pain after a procedure a couple days before. It is a good way for us both to stay in touch with our world of friends, even if we both couldn't be there.

[betheny]

Stacey-
The first 2 yrs are the worst. I promise, you're at least halfway thru the darkest woods. It's good you went to the game. If Joe won't go (and I DO NOT UNDERSTAND THIS)you've gotta be there for your kids. He'd feel so much better if he went out...


You'd better get a big gun 'cause I'm not dead yet."
---The Bad Examples

[Stacey]

Thanks for all of the support. Betheny, I sure hope you are right. I couldn't live this way forever. Today was a really bad day. We haven't had one like this for a long time. Lots of yelling, throwing things. I was pretty amazed at how far he can throw a bottle of pills. Much farther than a couple of months ago.

My 10 year old son came home with a trumpet today. He told me he'll have to practice everyday for the band............... "trying very hard to keep smiling"

I love my hair. It was down to my waist, now shoulder length. Should've done it a long time ago...

Thanks again. Please hang in there this week for me. I'm sure there will be many more tears in the coming days.
Stacey

[KDK513]

gettin his throwing arm back....all right!

[marmalady]

KDK beat me to it! Ya just gotta look for the sunshine somewhere!

_____________
Tough times don't last - tough people do.

[Sci Mom]

Stacey,

I know the pain of that first anniversary. We all do. But I have to tell you, your post made me laugh! Keep your sense of humor...it will get you through some unimaginable times! I could just picture you standing back, calmly evaluating the strength, speed and accuracy of his throw! LOL...

Plus, the trumpet! That brought back memories! Brianna was in concert band from sixth grade through 12th grade, and then in marching band all through high school. She played the flute, and was quite good too. None of that screechy stuff, really. Until...they sent her home with a piccolo!! Oh my God. As I recall, I eventually said, "I forbid you to play that torture device in the house. Let your teacher call me if she has a problem."

Betheny is right; the first two years are the worst. And the first anniversary is HARD. But you've got a lot of support here..so take advantage!
Vicky

[KDK513]

Marmalady, I would love to revisit the Caregivers Gone Bad, but I couldn't this fall cause of the new job and a planned family vacation. Let's talk it up though. I still think it would be very worthwhile for all of us.

[KDK513]

I have been so weepy all of a sudden. At age 46 it could be hormonal, or it could be stress due to this job, or it could be the dreaded 4 year plateau, or what the hell else could it be? I know I miss big strong arms encircling me and taking care of me, is that all it is?