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    Marmalady, sorry you have had to deal with this all at once, sounds overwehlming. Hope everything improves soon.
    Kath

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      Oh, Jackie--

      Let's assume it will all turn out well. Let's assume the new caregiver you find (magically, quickly!) will become like family . . . let's assume the market regains its health and money is just not a problem, ever again . . . let's assume that the thing at Kessler is good for Matt, and that you and your husband land on the Funniest Home Videos tossing corn-tortilla frisbees to the deer. Let's assume you're surrounded by online people who think you're a great woman . . . which is in fact true. You are, and we do!

      [img]/forum/images/smilies/smile.gif[/img]

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        Jackie, I'm so sorry for all the crap you're going through! Why does it always come in waves instead of one problem or situation at a time? But good news about the Kessler program! It sounds like Matt should get a lot of benefit from it.

        Ok, you've all nailed me. I'm passive-aggressive. Passive with him and aggressive elsewhere to get rid of the frustrations I guess. But this week has been kind of interesting. I've been spending the afternoons and evenings with my closest friend whose mother is dying. You know the drill -- just being there and cooking and trying to take some pressure off of her. But interestingly, Julian has managed to get the frozen lasagna and other frozen stuff I've left for him out of the freezer that he can never reach and into the oven that he can never get close enough to to use and onto a plate and into his mouth all alone! And, he hasn't even complained about having to do it and having to be alone. Although he knows that if he complained under the circumstances he wouldn't like my response. I have no doubt that once this vigil with my friend is over, we will go back to old habits, but it is interesting to know that he isn't quite as helpless as he lets on. And I do honestly appreciate the fact that he isn't being difficult about being alone or having to tend to himself.

        Comment


          Thanks for the thoughts, folks, it's nice to know we can blow off steam when we need to!

          We still don't know if we're going to be 'aideless' or not; they're still running tests on her. And with our move coming up probably in the next 4-6 months, I'm not even sure I want to go through all the time and hassle interviewing and training someone new if we had to.

          Today was my last day at Children's; sniff. I'll wait a week or so and then call my old boss at the transcription company to start back up working at home for them. Have to clean the old office first, tho, to make room for the equipment!

          Martha! You see, he CAN do for himself! Don't you dare let him slide back!!

          _____________
          Tough times don't last - tough people do.
          _____________

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            Marmalady, I know what you mean about going through the hassle of interviewing. I am going to need some help for the month of May. I interviewed a few of people and kind of gave up. Maybe I'm being picky, but I really want some one personable. Anyone can do the tasks, but if they are coming into my home and caring for my husband, I want them to be kind and able to carry on a conversation.
            Oh well, I thought I was done with this stuff when my children were too old for daycare. The only good I can see coming from this summer, is that since I won't be here to wait on his every whim, maybe he'll start doing more for himself. Whenever I try to make him do for himself, he'll come up with the "I'm paralyzed" routine. Starting to get a little old. I'm so sick of hearing "I can't", before he even tries it. He needs to be more independent for his own self-esteem. Just trying to get him to see that.
            stacey

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              Stacey, We gave up on personable a while ago - competent and trustworthy is where it's at! Most of the home health aides in our state have an average 5th grade education -scary, huh? especially when they're going to be dealing with a mid-level quad with a brain injury!

              You know, girl - if you came to our 'weekend', he'd HAVE to be by himself for the weekend and take care of things! [img]/forum/images/smilies/wink.gif[/img]

              _____________
              Tough times don't last - tough people do.
              _____________

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                Marmalady, that is scary. I bet it isn't much different here. Trustworthy would be a good thing. I did home health long enough to hear so many horror stories that I can't stand the thought of having someone in my house. I'm really hoping that I can get family and friends to help out for that month. Once school is out, my son will help him out during the day. He sees Joe's favors as no big deal. He's looking forward to being with Joe this summer! Some kid I have. I wish that the other five were just as helpful.
                I wish I could join you for the weekend, but as I said I will be with the choir group(all of those fourteen year olds). I'll be the one sitting with my back to the door. I remember all too well what that age was like!
                I hope to meet you at the next one!!!!!

                Stacey

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                  Thursday, March 20 6:50 pm

                  I spent the afternoon in my yard, despairing over all the moss and dandelions growing through the grass, moving some lilies from the "starter" garden by the fence to the front yard, pushing the old hand-mower around and around. I never touched the flower beds once last spring, which means I have volunteer mint, buttercups, and candytuft everywhere, choking out the tulips . . . probably too late to worry about now. The lilacs have tiny leaves, but no buds yet.

                  7th-grade daughter made it on the club soccer team after years of effort! 9th-grade daughter currently agonizing over whether or not she can get to be a cheerleader. . . tryouts in two weeks. My own adolescence feels like a million miles and a hundred years off in the distance. I still can't figure out how to tell what "offsides" means in the heat of a soccer game!

                  This morning I said goodbye to the most amazing therapist . . . a sweet guy named Michael who took me on when Bruce was, like, 3 months post and I was out of my head with stress and grief. This guy has kept me honest and sane and even laughing for all this time. A very bittersweet moment, because I'm simultaneously so glad and so sad to acknowledge that I really don't need him now.

                  I listen to the war news in tiny snippets. Troops on the ground, okay, Saddam on TV, right, George on TV, yeah . . . I really hate the way all the news people are broadcasting from over there. I keep getting this image of the world thinking we're all over here chomping on popcorn and enjoying the video of bombs falling.

                  How fare you all?

                  K

                  Comment


                    The plumbers were here, we have new sump drainage pipes; the masons were here, and lathe and plastered all the old stone walls in the basement to 'leakproof' it. Looks nice, but not the same as the old whitewashed stone!

                    Looks like I'll be going to Charleston the 1st weekend in April to househunt! After checking airfares on such late notice, plus seeing the mess at the airports on the news, plus being decidely hinky about flying right now, I think I'll drive! It's about 12 hours, but with a flight time of 5 hours, and airport stalls of up to 3 hours, it'll be about the same amount of time anyway. So me and my trusty little 'Freddie Forester' will be on our way!

                    We've seen (via the web) about 15 houses we'd like to look at, so it'll be quite a weekend.

                    Kate, My yard's a mess, too, and I'm seeing little bits of green, also - primroses are coming up, and all my chives and tarragon in the herb garden; my little 'weeping pussy willow' is budding out, as are the maple, birch, and elm bonsai. Lilacs are budding, and my little flowering almond that I just planted last year, that was completely covered!

                    Mint - oh, my! I have mint coming up 30 feet from where I originally planted it; learned my lesson, and will now only plant it potted, to keep it contained.

                    The war - shock and awe? More like, 'oh, my'. Bush is ruining US relationships with the rest of the world in his attempts to be the biggest gorilla on the block. I actually heard a diehard Republican say the other day that they hoped the stock market really tanks, so people won't re-elect Bush! What an unbelievably misguided man. There was an article in Newsweek talking about his 'come to Jesus awakening', and Bible quoting, and feeling like he's on a mission from God. Sound like a jihad? Scary, scary, scary.

                    How's everyone else? Crawling out from under the winter 'rocks'?

                    Oh, Kate, I was a 'soccer mom' too! We always loved watching the real little ones play - the comment like 'rats running after cheese' was made quite often! The parents got a real education in the rigors of soccer when the coach and team challenged us parents to a game! Of course we lost!

                    _____________
                    Tough times don't last - tough people do.
                    _____________

                    Comment


                      Well, I'm back in Wv after a very rushed two days in Mi. Bri and I drove down on Sunday; Monday was devoted to getting divorced, which I did. The court appearance went smoothly, and my ex-husband was incredibly decent. [BIG sigh of relief here].

                      Tuesday was spent determining that Brianna does NOT have an allergy to lidocaine, or any topical anesthesia, for that matter. Also, more papers to sign re the divorce, people to visit, and a session with my financial advisor-guy. Whew! We then drove back Wednesday so we could hit doctor appts. on Thursday and today! Thank God for caffeine!!

                      Vicky
                      ____________________________
                      "God warns us not to love any earthly thing above Himself, and yet He sets in a mother's heart such a fierce passion for her babes that I do not comprehend how He can test us so."
                      ~Geraldine Brooks, "Year of Wonders"


                      "Be kind...for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle."
                      ~Philo of Alexandria

                      Comment


                        Glad it is a wrap Vicky..welcome back. Springis appearing here, soggy grass is becoming green, Little League practice begins in a week(there goes my life)and the daffodils and tulips are breaking through the ground. The buds of the daffodills can be seen but haven't bloomed yet. All this and a small patch of snow beside it. I have been restless for the winter to end so that I can go outside again. I am planning my next round of flowers for the front garden as well as enjoying the war weather.
                        Spring fever has arrived with a vengence.

                        "Don't worry about the world coming to an end today.
                        It's already tomorrow in Australia!"----- Charles Schultz

                        Every day I wake up is a good one

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                          Vicky-Congratulations! Have you worn out the Dixie Chicks CD yet?

                          Can I cry to you guys? My old and very dear friend Patti pulled a Jimi Hendrix on hydrocodone. She was without oxygen 15 mins, and EMS revived her. Now she looks like she's asleep, but has 5% brain function. Her husband is 15 yrs. younger than her, and only 5 yrs. older than her kids. He's not wanting to let her go and there's no reason he should be mature enough to make a decision that would tax Solomon. I can't tell if she's in there. I mean, she looks good. My heart is broken. I wish if God wants her he would just take her, so no one would have to live with their decision re "unplugging". All she did was a boo-boo; she had a major dental infection that hurt. AAAhh jeez...

                          Other family dramas too. Not to mention a war. At least Yukon OK isn't Baghdad Iraq.

                          Thanks for listening. For one of the only times in my life, I'm almost too upset to verbalize.
                          Blog:
                          Does This Wheelchair Make My Ass Look Fat?

                          Comment


                            Betheny -- So sorry to hear about your friend. That's so horrible for her and for you, her friend. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers.

                            Vicky -- glad to hear all went well in MI. I guess Tuesday truly was the first day of the rest of your life! May it be exactly what you want.

                            Jackie -- good luck on the house hunting! I hope you have a wonderful trip and find just the place that is perfect for you!

                            Comment


                              Thanks, everyone

                              Glad to be back and single. I went back to my maiden name, so now I get to change my name on everything...

                              I envy you folks working in your yards. I'm out working in the yard too...helping to dig up the septic tank! Ugh! Modern life is wonderful as long as it WORKS! I won't go into details, because I like you guys too much, and someone could be eating lunch right now...[img]/forum/images/smilies/wink.gif[/img] Have you ever noticed that this stuff always happens on a Sunday?

                              Betheny: I'm keeping you and your friend in my thoughts. What a difficult thing to go through!

                              Martha: I seem to remember your friend's mom being very ill. I hope things there are okay. (Keep hubby heating up those lunches!)

                              Jackie: House hunting sounds like fun (especially to me, today!). Good luck!

                              Cheesecake: I LOVE seeing spring flowers by patches of snow....it's such a hopeful sight!

                              Okay, back to the great outdoors. At least it's keeping me away from the TV.

                              Vicky
                              ____________________________
                              "God warns us not to love any earthly thing above Himself, and yet He sets in a mother's heart such a fierce passion for her babes that I do not comprehend how He can test us so."
                              ~Geraldine Brooks, "Year of Wonders"


                              "Be kind...for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle."
                              ~Philo of Alexandria

                              Comment


                                Saturday morning...and another sunny day! Rumor has it we might see snow after midnight tonight, though. I've been busy all week, and am looking forward to a RELAXING weekend! I want to go to the movies..just can't decide what to see.

                                Bri has another UTI, poor kid, and hopefully will feel up to going along. She also has homework due by tomorrow night, so she might bail out for that reason as well...

                                It's been pretty quiet here...news, ladies, NEWS! (Or gents...Russ??)

                                Vicky
                                ____________________________
                                "God warns us not to love any earthly thing above Himself, and yet He sets in a mother's heart such a fierce passion for her babes that I do not comprehend how He can test us so."
                                ~Geraldine Brooks, "Year of Wonders"


                                "Be kind...for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle."
                                ~Philo of Alexandria

                                Comment

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