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Partner relationships of couples with SCI or TBI

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    Partner relationships of couples with SCI or TBI

    This is an interesting article from Sweden, comparing partner relationships. Close to 60% of people with SCI or TBI had a stable partner relationship. Furthermore, most of these were established after injury. Not unexpectedly, people with SCI and TBI both had greater incidence of depression than non-injured controls. People with SCI felt that their quality of life was lower than controls while people with TBI did not differ from controls.

    • Kreuter M, Sullivan M, Dahllof AG and Siosteen A (1998). Partner relationships, functioning, mood and global quality of life in persons with spinal cord injury and traumatic brain injury. Spinal Cord. 36 (4): 252-61. Summary: The aim of this study was to assess and compare spinal cord injured (SCI) and traumatic brain injured (TBI) persons and people from the general population concerning partner relationships, functioning, mood and global quality of life. One hundred and sixty seven SCI persons, 92 TBI persons and 264 controls participated in the study. The median age was: SCI persons 33 years (range 19 to 79 years), TBI persons 40 years (range 20 to 70 years), and controls 31 years (range 19 to 79 years). Age at injury ranged among SCI persons from 14 to 76 years (Md 28 years), and among TBI persons from 16 to 56 years (Md 32 years). Half of the SCI group (51%), 58% of the TBI group and 59% of the controls had a stable partner relationship at the time of the investigation. Many of these SCI and TBI relationships (38% and 55% respectively) were established after injury. Both SCI and TBI persons showed significantly more depressive feelings compared with the controls. Perceived quality of life (global QL rating) was significantly lower in the SCI group compared with the controls, whereas the ratings of TBI persons and controls did not differ significantly. SCI and TBI persons did not differ significantly in level of education, perceived quality of life or distress. In all three groups, global quality-of-life ratings were significantly lower among single persons compared to those with a partner relationship. It was concluded that both SCI and TBI appear to affect overall quality of life and mental well-being negatively. The number of partner relationships contracted after injury among both SCI and TBI persons indicates, however, that the injury is not a major barrier to establishing close partner relationships. Being in good spirits, that is, lack of depressive feelings has a profound impact on the perception of a high quality of life in all three groups. For the SCI and TBI persons, a high level of physical and social independence were further positive determinants of a perceived high quality of life. <http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/query.fcgi?cmd=Retrieve&db=PubMed&dopt=Citation&li st_uids=9589525> Spinal Injuries Unit, Sahlgrenska University Hospital, Gothenburg, Sweden.

    #2
    I found this article to be very interesting. Relationships can be a very important attribute to the quality life. Being able to please someone else and feel wanted yourself helps to elevate the way you proceive yourself. Humans, like all animals crave acceptance and need to be paid attention to. It is very disturbing that people in the world now a days care more for themselves then others. Don't they realize it make you feel better to make someone else feel good. It is nice to read that there is a larger percentage of SCI and TBI people that make relationships work. I think that may be because SCI and TBI people understand the human phsyci a little better and value life to a greater degree.

    Comment


      #3
      That is great - now I can quote that 38% of married SCInjured persons marry post injury. I get so many jaw drops when I tell person XYZ that Chad and I met and married 15 years after his injury. I'm not alone!
      Wife of Chad (C4/5 since 1988), mom of a great teenager

      Comment


        #4
        Originally posted by zillazangel
        That is great - now I can quote that 38% of married SCInjured persons marry post injury. I get so many jaw drops when I tell person XYZ that Chad and I met and married 15 years after his injury. I'm not alone!
        We cannot marry or I'd lose my health care and my partner would lose his primary job, but as long as our wills are respected I should be fine.

        I'm surprised you encounter so much surprise. Amongst those I know a disability is more of a characteristic than some old-fashioned curse. Then again, I tend to hang around progressive people.

        Comment


          #5
          Originally posted by zillazangel
          now I can quote that 38% of married SCInjured persons marry post injury. I get so many jaw drops when I tell person XYZ that Chad and I met and married 15 years after his injury.
          Hey, I've gotten married twice since my accident and was proposed to by a third guy.

          C.

          Comment


            #6
            I guess I'm in the minority with my relationship with tigger74, with me having a brain ingury and him having a SCI. Everything is great though, I love him with all my heart and would do anything for him and he the same for me . We understand each other so well, we have the similar fears when it comes to relationships, being that we both have had our bought with individuals who have taken advantage of us. All of these statistics are on people with either SCI or TBI, so I think a relationship where both of the partners have one or the other might be considered to be more difficult, but I just don't see it. All it takes is both partners to respect one another, love each other, and be there no matter what the adversity may be. I met tigger on October 8th 2006 and it was definatly love at first sight , he swept me off my feet with his mannerisms and great personality. He has also kept me loving him by just being himself!

            Comment


              #7
              I love you sweetie! Thank you for being here for me. See you soon!

              Comment


                #8
                I have a Swedish PA and she is shocked of the difference of the Swedish and the Norwegian mind when it comes to disabilities. In Sweden the people get jobs and most of the places are accessible. I Norway the people do not care and they doesn't think the people with disability deserves to go to places and they think we are just a burden for the society. AND we cost a lot of money.
                TH 12, 43 years post

                Comment


                  #9
                  Tigger74 / Babygirl....

                  .........oye ve, get a room.

                  Havn't been able to log onto CC for unknown reasons.
                  My comback consists of a useless comment at that.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by zillazangel
                    That is great - now I can quote that 38% of married SCInjured persons marry post injury. I get so many jaw drops when I tell person XYZ that Chad and I met and married 15 years after his injury. I'm not alone!
                    hubby and i get that too. it's irritating.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Welcome back Tim!
                      Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow."

                      Disclaimer: Answers, suggestions, and/or comments do not constitute medical advice expressed or implied and are based solely on my experiences as a SCI patient. Please consult your attending physician for medical advise and treatment. In the event of a medical emergency please call 911.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Originally posted by zillazangel
                        That is great - now I can quote that 38% of married SCInjured persons marry post injury. I get so many jaw drops when I tell person XYZ that Chad and I met and married 15 years after his injury. I'm not alone!
                        What I hate is the "Oh you're such a wonderful man for sticking with her through this all" load of crap...

                        like. WTF? I just want to say
                        "Excuse me? You think I'm such a burdeon because I broke my back that you think my husband should leave me?

                        Go away now and fall off the world."

                        but usually I'm too shocked to think of that comeback.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Originally posted by Blackmare View Post
                          We cannot marry or I'd lose my health care and my partner would lose his primary job, but as long as our wills are respected I should be fine.

                          I'm surprised you encounter so much surprise. Amongst those I know a disability is more of a characteristic than some old-fashioned curse. Then again, I tend to hang around progressive people.
                          I am glad I am not alone! I met the LOVE of my life, but we cannot marry also because He would lose his health care also

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Well I was married for 28 yrs. to a man that does not have any injuries, then I met the love of my life October 24, 2010. I have known of him all my adult life and we were online friends for two yrs. before meeting and I knew the minute I saw him, that I loved him and I have never seen his SCI as he or others see it. I see him for himself and I would walk across fire and back for him. We have been through our own hell with others before, abuse both physical and mental and we may have our issues with sex, etc. but I would not trade him or I life with him for anything or anyone. I have friends that cannot understand why I would go from having material things to having someone like him. Well I can say that they were never my friends, if they cannot just stand beside me and support me no matter what they feel. I have done that for them, but I guess I am more of a supportor than they are. Just because he cannot walk does not make him less of a man, lover or friend. HE is my soulmate and he feels the same way about me. SCI people are people just like everyone else, you have issues but who the hell doesnt....Thumbs up to everyone that loves a SCI person.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              I had a marriage with a person without SCI and it was no bed of roses and if it wasnt for my children, I would have been gone along time ago. Just because he is able to walk does not mean he is perfect......if you love someone you love them no matter what the problems are and I could not love my husband like I love Bruce, and I love taking care of Bruce and I did trade material things for love and happiness and I have not regretted it one moment.....I will be honored to say in 27 more yrs...that I am still with him.

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