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worried about son

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    Originally posted by booklvr20
    thanks everyone for your comments and most I agree with. I am getting off his back about smoking, he knows how I feel and knows that he's not to do it in my house so if he does it with his friends what can I do, except hope it's a habit he breaks quick. I am really happy that he has had a fun summer getting out with his friends and hopefully he will start taking his health seriously while in school. Just worried, thats what we moms do best.

    Hi Dawn;
    Smoking.... How about self medication? My son Michael, turned to Heroin after the accident. 5 days after he turned 19, thrown from the back seat T/8. PARAPLEGIC. Yes that was 9m on Friday April 4th 2004. This was not a school night. The call from the hospital.......
    Mikey is 10 months sober tomorrow morning!!!! He is doing great and his GUN's are huge now. I thank "GOD" every day he is a survivor. You worry about smoking???? Please contact me. Patti


      Hi Dawn,
      I can COMPLETELY relate to what you are going through. My 19yr. old son CJ is a C5/C6 quad. His car accident was in February of this year. My husband and I work from home which is a blessing for CJ and his care. I take care of him mostly and my husband does the transfers, but CJ is learning each day to do more for himself. He can brush his teeth, wash his face, lift his cup up to give himself a drink and wheel himself around in his manual chair some. He fed himself his first meal just two days ago!! He has also been learning to write all over again. CJ tells me when he needs to be stretched and excercised. I don't remind him, I make him remind me. CJ has his good days and his bad days. He had days where he says "I CAN'T" do that to everything. He too has picked smoking back up and it bothered my husband and I alot since we had to watch him on a ventilator for 2 1/2 months. We both have learned though that we have bigger fish to fry and we have to pick and choose our battles! As time has gone on CJ has more good days than bad now. He has learned "HE CAN" do things if he tries and practices. CJ does not like his power chair and refuses to use it because he thinks it makes him look more disabled! Whatever works, I say. The manual chair will strengthen his arms more and make him less dependent than the power chair, I think. We are hoping that one day he will be able to transfer himself with help or independently. I guess what I want to say to you is that it really is all about tough love. If you refuse to do the things you know he can do with practice without even trying then maybe he will try. That is what we started doing to CJ. It was the hardest thing in the world to do because he is our son and we love him, but we knew we were not helping by doing everything for him. We even sat his friends down and let them know that we did not want them doing everything for him when they took him out or spent time with him here. If they don't want to follow our rules then CJ won't get to go. We have three other boys as well, 17,16 and 9. They of course love their brother and want to do all they can for him but they are all aware of our rules. It may not work for everyone but it works for us. We have had our share of arguements and probably will have more. He is still a normal teenager mentally and emotionally just not physically and we have to remember that. When he was able bodied and lived with us he had rules to follow then as well as consequences for not following the rules. I hope things get better for you and your son. I wish you well.